


Bottled Obsession

by Best_Kind_of_Insanity



Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: F/M, Love Potion/Spell, Marauders' Era
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-06-19
Updated: 2017-08-07
Packaged: 2018-11-16 05:20:15
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 8
Words: 25,080
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11247132
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Best_Kind_of_Insanity/pseuds/Best_Kind_of_Insanity
Summary: Lena is certain Sirius Black is a decent fellow underneath the bravado, hiding somewhere under layers of hostility and attitude and cheating tendencies. She just never thought she'd get to see it for herself. But when a Love Potion goes awry, she finds herself on the receiving end of kindness she never knew the bane of her existence possessed.





	1. Amortentia

**Author's Note:**

> I suck at one-shots! I intended for this story to be a simple 2.000 word short story to publish around Valentine. For those without a calender, that was four months ago and since then the story slightly spiraled out of control, turning it into a several chapters long story. Not quite what I had in mind but entertaining nonetheless, I hope.

"Tell me again what it is exactly you're doing?" I frown at the red liquid in my friend's cauldron.

While April Redmacher has always had what I deem an unhealthy obsession with potions, it is a rare occurrence to watch her waste her free Sunday brewing a potion in the cold, chilly bowels of the castle. What's even stranger is that I actually followed her down here while we should both be outside right now, joining our friends for ice-skating on the Black Lake.

"I'm brewing a love potion," She sighs, probably annoyed by all the questions I've already asked her. Is it supposed to look like molten lava? Should it smell like sweaty socks? Why does she wear her hair up in such a crazy looking bun? Isn't it annoying that her glasses keep fogging? Important questions.

"Right. Because you've grown tired of Hector?" I hum.

"No," She scoffs, appalled at the mere suggestion that my cousin doesn't have what it takes to keep her interest for longer than the three months they've been dating. "Because Polly asked me to."

"And since when are we friends with Polly Mirtleton?" I frown.

"We're not," April reassures me that I don't have to start being nice to our annoying classmate any time soon.

I don't go around disliking people. I'm actually quite easy-going. There's just something about Polly Mirtleton that makes you want to scratch her eyes out. Don't know what it is. Perhaps it is the perfectly shaped duck face. Or the fact that she calls everyone her subjects. Yep, as though she was a fucking queen. Now, doesn’t she sound lovely? 

“And yet, here you are, brewing her a love potion,” I give her a pointed look. 

“She asked me to brew it for her, you know she’s shite at potions. I wasn’t going to do it but she offered to pay a pretty good amount for it.”

“Who needs talent when you can just buy it from other people,” I scoff. “Since when are you in need of money anyway?”

“Since it will be Valentine’s Day soon and I want to be able to buy my boyfriend something.”

“You could make a necklace out of macaroni and Hector would still love it.”

He really would. My one-year younger cousin has always had a soft spot for my friend and now that he’s finally gotten her to see him as a guy instead of my childish relative, he wouldn’t ruin it all over something materialistic as a bad Valentine's present. What the hell does Hector care about that kind of stuff anyway? 

“Perhaps,” She sighs. “But when he pulls out something that costs a fortune, I’d like to be able to return something of equal value.”

I have to admit that, knowing Hector, he probably will have something ridiculously extravagant prepared for April. But it’s not like he expects her to have as much money as his family does. 

“He doesn’t care that you can’t.”

“But I do,” She says sharply, closing the discussion. 

It’s none of my business anyway. I might be their number one fan – they really are so great together – but this is something between the two of them. If she wants to slave over some potion for the top bitch in this castle, I won’t stop her. 

“So why does Polly need a love potion anyway? She’s not as ugly on the outside as she is on the inside.”

As much as I can’t stand her, and that sentiment is growing every year since we share a dorm, if she doesn’t talk and keeps that frown off her face, the tall blonde is actually really pretty. She doesn’t have any trouble finding herself a bloke. 

“Because we’re in seventh year now, meaning she only has a couple of months left to make her dream guy fall in love with her.”

“Oh,” I nod my head in understanding. 

For three years, ever since we all hit puberty, Polly has been obsessed – genuinely obsessed, not the way I call April obsessed – with the admittedly very attractive Gryffindor in our year; Sirius Black. Like I said, she’s pretty so in fifth year they went out together but Black doesn’t do serious relationships (oh, the irony) while Polly was convinced he was going to declare his undying love to her soon. Needless to say, things ended and she was heartbroken. That’s actually the one time I felt sympathy for her. 

Anyway, even though it’s been over for ages, not counting that drunken hook-up in sixth year, Polly has never lost hope that he will one day change his mind and they’ll live happily ever after. It’s freaking delusional is what it is, but I’m not about to tell Polly to stop the desperate act. I very much like my head attached to my body. 

"So she's decided to reach a new level of desperation and force her love onto the bloke?" I frown, kind of appalled at this approach. "And you're agreeing to this?"

"It's harmless, really," April waves away my concern. "The only thing to suffer a blow will most likely be his ego when he professes his undying love for Polly in public."

I can already imagine how mortifying that would be to proud and vain Sirius Black.

"Well, yeah, but," I waver. "Isn't that a bit unnecessarily cruel?"

Sirius Black annoys me from time to time with his arrogance and loud attitude but I'm not sure he deserves this humiliation.

"Unnecessarily cruel is telling a girl you like her and then take someone else to Hogsmeade."

Oh, so it's personal as well.

I'm sure Sirius Black is a decent fellow underneath the bravado but unfortunately he has already proven to be weak to the flesh as well. About two months ago Black got his flirt on with April's younger cousin who was of course extremely flattered by the attention and let her hormones get the best of her. When a new Hogsmeade trip was announced, Emily waited for him to ask her out but instead he took her best friend with him. She was, understandably, quite crushed and it seems April hasn't forgiven the Gryffindor for that. Though I think Emily's a sweet kid, everyone's aware of the skirt-chasing reputation Sirius Black has and perhaps it was a bit naïve to believe the guy on his word when he said he liked her. He likes everyone, it doesn't mean anything.

"And we're sure you're doing this right?" I lean forward to look at the potion. "Correct me if I'm wrong but isn't it supposed to be a white colour?"

Not that I know a lot about Potions since I didn't even bother signing up for NEWT class but the annoyed look on April's face tells me I'm probably right.

"I'm just making sure, since this newly acquired knowledge makes me complicit, that we're not doing anything that's going to disfigure the guy. Or kill him." I lean further in the cauldron to take a sniff. I'm also pretty sure Amortentia is supposed to smell like things you love, not dungbombs.

"I know what I'm doing," She huffs. "And will you please not lean so far into my cauldron. I don't want any of your bodily fluids leaking in."

"What?" I gasp insulted. "Like I'm just sweating and sniffling and spitting all over the place?"

"Well," She smiles teasingly which earns her a hard shove in the side. "Ouch, I'm just making sure you're not accidentally putting your DNA into the potion, that would cause Black to fall in love with you instead of Polly."

I don't even bother suppressing a shiver. I don't want Sirius Black's affections, fake or real. While I can appreciate his sense of humour, I do believe his exact words in sixth year were 'I don't do sloppy seconds'. Yeah, he's a real charmer.

"So how exactly does Polly think this will help her on her quest for the bloke's heart? As soon as the potion stops working, he'll probably be livid, not enamoured."

"Apparently she thinks he'll realise how great they are together by then," April shrugs.

"That's kind of sad," I frown. "Polly needs to only do her hair sweep thingy and she can have some guy who does want to be with her."

Like I said, she's not unpretty and there are plenty of guys she doesn't have to drug to spend time with her.

"I think maybe this failing as soon as Black's in his right mind again might just be the thing she needs to move on."

"Oh, crap, we are becoming friends with her, aren't we?" I glare at the tender expression on April's face.

"We're simply being kind," She hums.

"By robbing a guy of his free will. Yeah, we're saints," I scoff.

Though I think this is a stupid plan, I am a bit curious to see it all play out in a few days.

***

On Valentine's Day, I try to squeeze in as much time with April as I can at breakfast because Hector made it pretty clear yesterday that I need to back off for the rest of the day. He makes it sound as if I'm pushy. It just kind of sucks when all my friends, and unfortunately I really do mean all my friends, have Valentine dates. April has Hector, her steady boyfriend. Mackenzie has been seeing a Hufflepuff by the name of Alexander Sheppard for a total of six days now and of course he has a super romantic date planned for his girlfriend of not even a week. And for some reason that date starts by the two of them making out scandalously at the breakfast table, right across from me and successfully robbing me of my appetite with every passing minute. Even Nora has a date today with some sixth year who invited her to Hogsmeade and while she doesn't exactly like the bloke, she's too nice to say no. Meaning all my friends have plans today, which might be the sole reason I dislike Valentine's Day this year. At least last year I had a wonderful boyfriend of my own to be besotted with, even though he would dump me soon after.

"What are you staring at?" I frown at April who is not giving me the attention this morning that I need to last the entire day by myself. For some reason she keeps looking at the Gryffindor table while she should be looking at me. Nora is reading the Daily Prophet which is a sacred moment of the day and may, under no circumstances, be disrupted. Mac is still making out with her boo so I really need April right now.

"It's Valentine's Day," She simply says.

"I've noticed," I widely gesture towards the Great Hall's tacky decorations with an eye roll.

"This is what Polly wanted the Amortentia for," She glances quickly at me before returning her gaze to the Gryffindors. "I gave it to her on Thursday but I don't know how she intended for him to ingest it."

"And?"

"What if I brewed it wrong?"

"What if you brewed it right?"

I think that's what we should really be worried about. Nobody wants to see Sirius Black profess his undying love to Polly. The make-out session that will inevitably follow can't be pretty either.

"I haven't actually brewed it before," April suddenly confides in me.

"What?" I frown.

"We learned about it in class when I fell ill with mono, remember?"

"Oh, yeah," I smirk.

April caught mono, Hector caught mono but according to her it was all coincidence. Hector was a lot more honest and blatantly told me they had made out during the last Quidditch victory party.

"Well, I missed it," She quickly dismisses whatever I may want to say. "And now I'm not so sure anymore I did it right."

"Then why would Polly ask you? I mean, you're good. But you're not top of the class."

As soon as I say it, I know I shouldn't have.

"Well, she couldn't exactly ask Snape or Evans, could she?!" April snaps at me.

"What are you guys bickering about?" Nora pulls her gaze away from the paper to look at us with suspicion.

"Nothing," I quickly smile because April's a shitty liar. "I was just whining about how I'm going to spend the entire day by myself."

"I could spend the day with you, if you get me out of this date," She smiles hopefully at me.

"If you don't want to go, why did you say yes?" April frowns, finally looking away from Sirius Black eating breakfast.

"He asked so nicely. I didn't know how to say no." She blushes.

"Like this," I turn sideways. "April, would you like to go to Hogsmeade with me even though we've barely spoken two words to each other and I'm over a head shorter than you?"

"I'm really flattered but no, thank you."

"See?" We both turn to Nora again with a 'tadaa' expression on our faces.

"You guys are mean," She pouts.

"Oh, look!" April abruptly pulls on my sleeve and nods her head back in the direction of Sirius Black.

I don't see anything out of the ordinary happening over there. Sure, his gaze seems to be directed at the Ravenclaw table but that's not necessarily unusual since I'm sure he knows several Ravenclaws. When he doesn't seem to find what he's looking for, he appears to be getting into an argument with James. Now that never happens. As long as I've known those boys, I've never really seen them fight before, at the very least not in public. Sirius pulls out of James' grip and suddenly climbs on the Gryffindor table.

"What is he doing?" I hear April mutter beside me. "I don't think it's supposed to make him reckless."

"I'M IN LOVE!" Sirius Black shouts through the entire Great Hall, earning every gaze on him.

"Well, there you go," I smile. "It works."

"WITH LENA PELLT!"

What?!!


	2. Marauder Dates

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I want to thank Takemetowonderland420 and banichu for commenting on the first chapter. It's great to get response so thank you. 
> 
> My intention is to update every Monday. That way you don't have to wait too long on a new chapter and since the story is actually as good as finished already, I'll be able to keep up the pace. 
> 
> I hope you enjoy the new chapter.

My fork slips out of my hand and clatters onto my plate, the sound ringing in my head as I watch Sirius Black beam proudly over his confession, still searching the Ravenclaw table for, apparently, me.

"Oh, no," April gasps.

"Did he just say…?" Nora frowns in confusion.

"Lena!" Mackenzie seems to have pulled away from Alexander long enough to grasp what's going on. "You didn't tell me you were dating Sirius Black."

"I'm not," I glare at her.

"Well, then why is he shouting out how much he loves you?" She glares right back, probably not believing me.

"Why indeed," I snap my head in April's direction to ask her what the hell just happened.

She in turn looks equally confused and a bit lost as she whips her head between me and the approaching Sirius Black.

"Lena!" He shouts eagerly as he runs towards me.

He's never been that eager to see me before. And it certainly isn't making me any more comfortable to see the entire Great Hall stare at me, some of them with clear anger in their eyes but none of them manage to rival Polly's evident rage. Sirius Black doesn't seem to be phased by those looks, his eyes are focused solely on me. He is standing in front of me much faster than I can come up with a way to avoid what comes next because if he did ingest the potion April brew and it somehow made him fall in love with me instead of Polly then, he's about to-

"I love you, Lena," He beams at me like a sugar-crazed kid would at candy.

He leans forward without any warning, though in hindsight I suppose the look in his eyes could have prepared me for Sirius Black kissing me in the middle of the Great Hall. I'm in complete shock over the pair of lips pressed against mine. It's only when I feel a tongue trying to press its way in that I snap out of it and harshly shove the bloke off me, accidentally pushing him on top of April.

"What the hell?!" I snap at the guy who looks absolutely destroyed over the fact that I wouldn't let him shove his tongue down my throat.

"But, Lena," He whines. "I love you."

Is he... crying? Did I make Sirius Black cry? It seems ridiculous but I can clearly see fat tears rolling down his cheeks as he continues to blubber about his affections for me.

This is not happening. This cannot be happening!

Why the hell is he acting like this? The potion was supposed to make him fall head over heels in love with Polly, not me!

At the sight of a sobbing - yes, quite literally sobbing - Sirius Black, I am at a complete loss on what to do now. Do I just ignore him? It's kind of hard to pretend the wailing teenage boy isn't standing right there. Do I tell him to go away? I'm afraid that might just make the crying even worse. Do I walk away? I'd love to but I don't think he'll let me. Somebody, help me!

"Padfoot, what are you doing?" James Potter comes out of nowhere to hopefully save me from his pushy friend.

"No!" Sirius harshly shoves James away and takes a protective stand in front of me. "You've had your chance. Lena is mine now!"

He did not just say that, did he? I feel like I should point out that I'm no one's possession but I fear that might just bring Black's attention back to me. As much as I don't want this conversation to take a hostile turn, I am grateful for James trying to get his best friend to back off.

"Dude," He whispers as if the entire Great Hall isn't staring. "What's wrong with you? You don't even like Lena."

"I do!" He roars so loudly, I fear my ear drums might burst. "I do! I do! I love Lena."

Unfortunately, it doesn't look like James has any more success in getting him to back off than I did. In fact, he might be doing worse. As soon as he realises that there's no reasoning with his friend in his current state, he turns his glare on me.

"What did you do to him?" James narrows his eyes in suspicion.

"Me?!" I snap. "Black's the one harassing me, not the other way around!"

I thought that seemed pretty obvious.

"You've clearly hexed him!"

"Hexed him?! Why the hell would I want Black to kiss me?!"

"You guys?" A soft voice interrupts mine and James' quickly escalating argument, turning our attention to Remus Lupin and Peter Pettigrew coming to join their two best mates. "Maybe this is a conversation we should have somewhere a bit more private?"

As though only just now realising we're still standing in the middle of the Great Hall, James looks a bit embarrassed and nods at Remus. But when they try to grab Black to drag him somewhere we can yell at each other in peace, he struggles to get away from them and back to me.

"No, I'm not leaving Lena!"

Really?!

"She's coming with us," James throws me a pointed look.

"I don't believe you. You just want to separate us because you don't like it that we're in love!"

"We are not in love!" I yell at him which looks like it might open the water gates again.

"Bu-but..." The pitiful pout and devastated look on Black's face is not at all heart-warming. It actually just makes me want to hex him for real.

"Oh, for the love of Merlin," I throw my arms up in defeat before grabbing Sirius Black's hand, which makes him go from crying to ecstatic in a couple of seconds. Can Amortentia make you bipolar?

I drag Black out of the Great Hall, who happily lets me, and shove him into the first abandoned classroom I find, with his three friends in tow.

"What did you do?" James immediately turns on me again as soon as Remus closes the door behind him.

"Why do you assume I did something?" I snap at him.

"Because he was fine, until he had breakfast and now he thinks he's in love with you!"

"I am in love with her!" Black jumps up angrily. "You're just jealous!"

"Will you stop saying that?" I glare at him. "In fact, stop talking altogether."

"Okay," Black eagerly nods and remains quiet.

That's it? That's all it took? I should have told him to shut the fuck up ages ago.

"Let's just figure out what happened," Remus tries to pacify the situation. "calmly."

"She hexed Padfoot!"

"What?!" I gasp.

How can he honestly believe I would do that?

"James," Remus sighs. "You know that's not true. This is Lena we're talking about. She wouldn't do that."

Thank you!

"She doesn't even like Sirius, why would she cast such a spell on him?"

"Exactly!" I eagerly say. "Thank you, Remus."

At least some of them still have some sense left. While James seems much too comfortable in his anger towards me to even have considered that, he does calm down a bit after Remus' words. Still glaring at me though.

"Come on, Moony. The way he suddenly can't live without her," Black eagerly nods as though agreeing. "right after drinking his Pumpkin Juice by the way. He's clearly under the influence of Amortentia."

"Yeah," Remus frowns. "How would you explain that, Lena?"

"Well, that’s… euhm…," And then I kind of have to hesitate. I know exactly what must have happened. When April was brewing the potion, a hair or something must have slipped in and made Black fall in love with me instead of Polly. But if I tell them that, April will get in trouble and due to best friend girl code, I have to do everything in my power to prevent that. On the other hand, the Marauders can be quite brutal when they believe you've wronged them. Do I want their vengeance directed at me, or at her? Maybe I can just mention I brewed the potion for Polly myself and let her be the recipient of the anger but they all know I suck at Potions.

"Yes?" James glares at me.

"Euhm, okay... You see,-"

"It was me." All five of our heads turn towards the door where April is standing now. "I brewed the love potion."

"Thank Merlin," I sigh, glad that I no longer have the responsibility of coming up with a lie that covers both our arses.

"I couldn't let you take the fall for me," she smiles apologetically.

"Oh, please," I scoff. "I was just about to throw you under the bus. Every witch for herself, you know?"

"I'm confused," Peter says. "Aren't you dating Lena's cousin? Why would you brew a love potion for Sirius?"

"Or were you trying to play matchmaker for Lena?" James glares at her now.

"Right," April snorts. "That's the worst match ever. Why would I want to do that?"

Why James continues to believe this is actually something that I wanted, is beyond me. Has he not witnessed how often the two of us clash from the front row? There's no person in this castle I struggle so hard with to have a civil conversation like I do with Sirius Black. Why his best friend thinks that means I have a crush is beyond me. Just because he goes for girls that hate his guts, doesn't mean everyone should.

"Why else would you brew a love potion for Sirius?" Peter shrugs.

"Okay, so a girl came up to me a couple of weeks ago," April starts her explanation, protecting Polly's identity of all things! "And she asked me to brew her a love potion for Sirius Black for Valentine's Day."

"Is that girl Lena?" James glares at her.

"No!" I snap at him. "You can't think of any other girl that desperate to make Sirius Black love her?"

Not that I'm saying I belong in that category but come on, I can at least come up with five of them. They, apparently, can't because I'm met with dead silence.

"Someone who's been trying to convince him they're made for each other, who's running out of time to make him see it on his own? A girl craving his affections so badly, she's prepared to do anything?"

"Still think that sounds like you," James mutters.

"A girl who once snuck into the Gryffindor Tower to make sure he wasn't banging any other chicks? Which he was."

"Are you talking about Polly?" He frowns.

"Of course I am, do you know a more psychotic girl than her?"

I certainly don't and at least James does seem to struggle with coming up with a response for that.

"I'm confused," Peter admits. "How come he's in love with Lena then?"

"Good question, Wormtail," James is back to glaring at me.

"Because she was with me when I brewed the potion. Some of her DNA must have accidentally slipped into the potion."

"Accidentally. Right," James snorts insultingly.

"I believe it was accidentally," Remus assures me. He's always been my favourite. "But that does mean you knew what Polly was planning and didn't tell us."

"I have not responsibility whatsoever to warn Black for any deserved misfortune coming his way."

I may have had my doubt about how correct April's choice to brew the potion was but he's at fault as well for leading Polly on like that. She wasn't always this crazy, he made her crazy. And she definitely wasn't his first and only victim either. Sirius Black totally deserves his current predicament. Me, not so much.

"A warning would have been nice," James sighs.

"That would have required talking to Black," I shudder.

"Fine, I get that you didn't want to tell him, but you could have just told me."

After the grilling interrogation I'm receiving now? Like hell I'm ever confiding anything to James again.

"I'm sure that would have gone over wonderfully with your girlfriend," I dead-pan.

"Lily wouldn't have minded us talking to each other," He frowns, confused.

"Sure, like when I asked you how your Transifguration essay went and she demonstratively shoved her tongue down your throat. She was so cool with it," I roll my eyes at him.

"Lena, I-"

"Whatever, James, I don't care. I really don't but that's just fucking rude."

Silence. Awkward silence. It seems everybody suddenly remembers that before Lily Evans it was me on James' arm. The guy himself looks at a loss on what to say now but he was never too good with words. This is the guy that broke up with me through a shrug.

"Maybe we should get back to the real issue here," My best friend cuts through the uncomfortable silence with a nod in the direction of Sirius Black who has returned to glaring holes through his best friend's head.

Thank you, April!

"Regardless of how he got in this state, we can fix it. You can brew the antidote, right?" I look hopefully at her.

"I could..." She starts. Oh, that doesn't sound too good. "But brewing that antidote is a sixteen hour long process."

"So?"

"The potion wears off in twenty four hours."

That's still eight Black-free hours extra I could have. Let's get started!

"And?" I sense her hesitation.

"And it's Valentine's Day," She pouts.

"Hell no! You are not abandoning me with this stalker just because you want to go on a date with your boyfriend."

"We can go on a date," Sirius beams at me.

"Pass!" I don't even turn to look at him. I know he's wearing that kicked puppy expression. "You have to brew me the antidote."

"And I totally will, after my date. Hector planned this super romantic-"

"Seriously?!"

"Look, I know this is terrible timing but I did ask you not to lean too far into the cauldron and I-"

"You do not want to go there," I glare at her because if we're being brutally honest, I wouldn't even be in this horrible position if she hadn't brewed the potion in the first place.

"I know, I know, but this is Valentine and you know how important this is to me. I'd brew you the potion after our date but by then it would just be faster to wait out the twenty four hours. It's just one day of putting up with Black. One day, Lena."

Why is she trying to convince me this isn't the horrendous thing it clearly is? And worse, why am I actually listening to her? She cannot go on her date while I'm suffering the terrible effects of Sirius Black being in love with me!

"Fine!" I snap at her anyway. "I'll just hide myself in my common room while these guys keep Black far, far away from me."

Okay, it's not ideal but it sounds like a decent plan. I'll be able to catch up on all of my homework.

"About that," Remus looks apologetic. Why is he looking at me like that? "We kind of have plans too."

"What?!"

"It is Valentine's Day, Lena," He sighs. "I have a date."

"What?!" I gasp. "But I thought you didn't date, Remus?"

I vividly remember me trying to set him up with Nora two years ago. James put an end to that by saying Remus doesn't date, ever. I didn't want to but eventually I was forced to let it go, accepting the fact that adorkable Remus Lupin didn't want to date.

"He does now," James gives me a stern look. "And it took a lot of convincing on our part to make it so. You better don't-"

"Hold your horses, James," I roll my eyes at him in growing irritation. "I didn't say he shouldn't. Good for you, Remus. Terrible timing to launch yourself into the dating circuit but good for you, really."

"Thank you, Lena," Remus blushes, most likely uncomfortable with discussing his dating life. We don't know each other that well.

"So everyone is going on a date today?" I frown.

I don't need to ask James what his plans are for today. I'm sure he's got something ridiculously extravagant and cheesy planned for Lily.

"I don't! We can go on a date," Sirius perks up again. I'm just going to ignore him.

"Anyone else? Peter?"

I don't want to be rude by assuming he's not going on a date today. He could be. I just really hope he isn’t.

"I don't have a date." Yes! "I have detention."

"What?"

"The prank with the exploding cauldrons, it was epic," James smiles happily. "Peter got caught though."

Seriously!?!

"Okay," I sigh, getting more dejected by the second. "So that will take an hour, two at most?"

"It's with McGonagall," Peter mutters.

Why can't anything go right today?! The Head of Gryffindor catching a Marauder in the act is something she'll celebrate the entire day, by keeping Peter in detention the entire day. So there is no one left to keep Sirius Black away from me.

"Fine! Thanks for nothing, guys!" I huff. "So what am I supposed to do when you guys go skipping off?"

"Might I suggest something?" Remus says carefully. "Sirius is clearly not himself right now. Who knows what he'll get up to on his own? I think it's safe to say someone needs to keep an eye on him."

"Yes!" I smile. "So you'll stay?"

"Euhm... I actually had someone else in mind."

"Who?" Peter asks but judging by the direction of Remus' gaze I fear I know the answer.

"Me?" I gasp. "Are you kidding me?!"

The plan was the keep Black away from me, right? Why would he ask me to babysit the guy then?!

"You clearly don't want him to be in love with you so I don't believe you'll take advantage of his vulnerable state right now, like I imagine some girls would. And under the influence of Amortentia, you're the only one he seems to listen to."

"That's not true," I scoff.

"Is too," Black smiles happily at me.

"Shut up!" I yell at the guy and, just to prove his bloody point, he does.

Oh, man, this is the stupidest idea that ever came out of a Marauder's mouth but everyone else is smiling and nodding like it's genius. It's not!

"That settles it then," Remus hums, pleased with his own idiocy. "You'll keep an eye on Sirius until we get back from our dates then."

"You all just assume I didn't have a date to begin with?" I snap at the imbeciles.

"You have a date?!?" Black, who had been surprisingly docile until now, jumps up and looks bloody murderously around the room, like my date is just hiding underneath one of the desks. "Where is he?! I'll kill him! Trying to steal my girl!"

"I don't have a date," I sigh, annoyed at both his ridiculous territorial behaviour and the fact that everyone just assumed I didn't have a date. "I was just saying that I could have."

"Settled it still is then," Remus smiles happily before getting out of the room with everyone else in tow.

"You can't just leave me here with him!" I shout after them but none of them turn back, not even April. So much for our friendship.

"I'll take you on a date," Sirius Black smiles at me.

That is the last thing I want. While everyone is swooning over a romantic Valentine date, I am stuck with the most arrogant Gryffindor in the castle, and that's saying a lot. I'd rather just run back to my own tower and spend the day in my dorm. Actually, that's not a bad idea at all.

"Great idea," I force a smile at him. "I just have to get changed."

I know I was gesturing to my stay-in outfit I had chosen this morning for a lazy day but he shouldn't agree so quickly that yes, I really do have to change clothes.

"You wait right here," I tell him before running off to my common room.

If Remus is right and my new stalker really is somehow forced to listen to me, I can just spend the day how I was planning to anyway while Black continues to wait here for me to return the entire time. Though there might have been some truth to that, I only really relax when I've made it into my common room. He can't get to me here, meaning I can still have my relaxing me-time. I will just have to stay in the Ravenclaw tower.


	3. Close

I retrieve the muggle book I was reading from my dorm and settle in by the window in the common room that gives me a good view of the caste grounds and the people leaving for Hogsmeade. I could have just gone as well, I certainly wouldn't have been the only one without a date. I've never been a fan of Valentine's Day because it puts such pressure on people, single or dating. But this year I dislike it even more, mostly because last year I counted myself along those fortunate souls who got the spend the holiday of lovers with someone they deeply care about. Which I suppose was all a bunch of nonsense because not even three weeks later, James broke up with me, saying he still had too many unresolved feelings for Lily Evans. Hence, the reason I don't like Evans. It's not that I'm bitter about it, or as angry as I was at first. I hadn't really been all that angry, to be honest, just disappointed that the guy I thought had so much potential for making me fall in love with him, didn't feel the same about me. I don’t need the reminder today that one year later, not one guy has expressed any kind of interest since I was James Potter's rebound for a girl he never dated in the first place.

Trying to take my mind of what day it is, and the horribly start of the morning, I get fifty pages into my book before a small tap on my shoulder pulls me out of the fictional world.

"Yes?" I look up at two second years I don't remember ever having spoken to.

"There's someone at the entrance asking for you," The shortest of the two, a blond girl with chubby cheeks, tells me while the tall brunette (tall for a second year that is) blushes heavily behind her.

"Me?" I frown. "Who?"

"Sirius Black," The brunette giggles. "He's so handsome."

"Tell him I'm not here, tell him... euhm… that I left for Hogsmeade."

Let him go look for me there.

"Why?" The brunette frowns. "Don't you want to go out with him?"

"No," I snort.

"But... he loves you," The girl looks almost as distraught as Black did when I told him I didn't want to hang out with him or kiss him or just be anywhere near him. 

"He doesn't," I sigh, annoyed that I have to keep repeating this conversation.

"Yes, he does!" The taller girl, who I suspect is a hopeless romantic, gasps. "He declared it in front of the entire Great Hall. It was so romantic."

Did she not see how appalled I was by it? What's romantic about that?

"Well, I don't," I huff. "Tell him to go to hell."

The girls simultaneously pale at the mere idea of relaying that message to him.

"We can't do that," The blond whispers frightened.

Well, I can't really blame them. I've only seen Black angry, really angry, twice but it was a terrifying sight to behold. Imagine how much scarier it has to be when the rage is actually directed at you.

"Fine," I sigh deeply, sending my book back to my dorm with a flick of the wand. "I'll tell him myself."

Even though he's the last person I want to see today, and every other day as well, I guess I shouldn't expect second-year gullible students to clean up my mess. Even though it wasn't my mess to begin with.

As soon as I step out of the common room, into the hallway, I am greeted with a brightly beaming Sirius Black who has no regard for my personal bubble.

"There you are, gorgeous," He smiles in a way that has got to hurt his face, I'm sure of it.

"Here I am," I say with much less enthusiasm than him.

"You didn't get changed," He frowns at my outfit.

No, I am still very much in my comfy clothes, nothing to seduce a guy in and yet, Sirius Black still looks at me like I'm sex on a stick. Kind of ironic since he usually thinks that's how everyone should regard him.

"I...euhm... don't have anything else to wear," I lamely say even though I have a very gorgeous dress upstairs April forced me to buy over the summer. She dubbed it my date dress but since there's no date to go on, I'm not wearing that.

"Do you want me to buy you something?" He eagerly says.

What?!

"No," I slowly say. "That's okay."

"Shall we go then?" He extends his arm to me.

"Go?" I frown.

"On our date," He beams.

Right, I did kind of agree to that. Even though that was a ruse...

"Oh, you still want to do that?" I raise one side of my mouth in distain. I'm hoping he'll say no but those odds are terrible to begin with since Amortentia makes him want to be near me, to the point of suffocation.

"Of course. I've planned the perfect date for us."

He did? But he didn't even know we were going on a date before this morning. He didn't even like me before this morning. But Sirius Black is clearly not going anywhere and if he's just going to keep pestering younger students to fetch me for him, my quiet afternoon is already ruined.

"It's not at Hogsmeade, is it?"

I'm doing this because Remus was right about Black needing a babysitter and since his friends all bailed, that responsibility seems to have been passed on to me. That still doesn't mean I want anyone else to see me going on a Valentine date with Sirius Black. I want people to be under the impression I have more self-respect than that.

"No," He smiles. "I want you all to myself."

I can't believe I'm doing this.

"Fine," I eventually snap. "but I'm staying in my sweats and don't touch me."

"But then how will we-" He reaches for my hand which I quickly pull back.

"If I want you to touch me, I'll let you know. If you can't agree to this rule, there will be no date!"

"Okay, okay," Black quickly says, afraid I'll turn around and seek refuge in the common room for the rest of the day. "I won't do anything you don't want me to do."

"Right," I sigh. "Lead the way then."

He seems happy beyond any similar expression I've ever seen on his face. Who knew Black, flirtatious man-whore Sirius Black, could look like the embodiment of childish joy? It seems a bit odd but I follow the nearly skipping Gryffindor down the corridor anyway.

I'm being led through many more corridors, some hidden passages I never even knew existed, all the while swatting away Black's hands reaching out to me, until we finally get to the stairs leading up to the Astronomy tower.

"Why are we here?" I ask him as I reluctantly follow him up.

"This is your favourite place in the castle," He beams, completely convinced that I adore a place I've never even been to.

"Euhm, I'm pretty sure it's not," I frown.

"I'm pretty sure it is," He retorts, obnoxious smile in place.

"I don't take Astronomy. I've never even been here."

Sirius Black turns around on the stairwell to look at me. Because of the narrow space, he's a lot closer than I'm comfortable with but at least this time he doesn't seem to be trying to sneak in a kiss or touch.

"You love heights. The higher the place, the better. The Astronomy Tower is the highest tower in the castle, therefore it should be the best place at Hogwarts for you."

I am left gaping at the smug guy because, damn, how can he make such an assumption? It's a pretty correct one but he doesn't know that. I'm not that predictable, am I?

"How do you know that?" I ask him.

"You told me," He smiles.

"I did?" I frown, having a hard time remembering a conversation where I told him this, or any kind of civil conversation between the two of us for that matter.

"Well, you told James," He admits. "But I was standing right next to him so of course I heard."

"And you remembered that?"

I don't even remember that. When did I tell James I love heights? Perhaps when we were still dating? That's the only time Sirius Black was ever slightly less obnoxious to me but that was a year ago.

"Of course I do," He beams brightly. "You're very memorable."

He flashes me another blinding smile before going further up the stairs.

What was that?! Sure, the Amortentia makes him like and adore me now but I don't think it's supposed to make him remember stuff about me from ages ago. Of course, there is still the possibility that what I said back then was followed by a crude remark from him, one he deemed so spectacular that he just had to remember the moment. That does sound likely.

I cautiously follow him up the stairs. I won't put it past Sirius Black to pretend to be in love with me and drag me on a supposedly romantic date here, only to end up pushing me from the Astronomy tower. But when I eventually get to the end of the stairs and step onto the platform there is no danger, except the threat of me having to actually agree with Black because wow, what a view. I hate to admit it but you can see for miles from up here, not yet to the end of the Forbidden Forest (I suspect it to be endless) but pretty damn close. And the wind whipping around my face, in combination with looking down at the entire terrain of Hogwarts makes something familiar soar in my chest. I really do love heights.

"Well?" Black is smiling smugly at me.

I don't think he really needs an answer. I'm sure the expression on my face said it all but it aggravates me that he's just setting me up for an 'I told you so'.

"Nobody likes a bragger," I huff.

Unlike the Sirius Black I know, this intoxicated version really doesn't gloat when I tell him not to. Instead, he continues to smile proudly at me as he gestures towards a picnic set up for us in the middle of the platform. Merlin, this looks too much like a real date.

Keeping in mind that it is not in fact a real date but actually a ruse to make sure Sirius Black doesn't go declaring his love for me in a very public place (again!), I join him on the blanket clearly equipped with a cushioning charm. How oddly gallant of him. Is that a side effect of the potion as well?

"So what's in the basket?" I glare at the cliché item on this 'date', ignoring the fact that I am getting a bit hungry since Black ruined my breakfast.

"Everything you like," He beams before opening it with an overdramatic gesture.

"How would you kn-"

"Pumpkin Juice, tuna sandwiches and blueberry pie.” He proudly pulls out the food to display it on the picnic blanket.

Okay, this is officially freaking me out, even more than the fact that I'm on a date with Sirius Black. Because said guy just pulled out everything I adore. Is that a coincidence?

"H-how did you-?" I stammer, utterly confused at all these correct assumptions.

"I told you: I pay attention," He winks at me.

"Well, yeah, now. Since you've suddenly decided you love me. But this is stuff you should have known before this morning's revelation."

So how come he knows that?

"Exactly," He smiles. "Besides, it's pretty hard to ignore how you dive straight for the pies and gobble them up in record time, like you’re afraid they're going to grow feet and run away."

"Hey! You would too if you grew up with a brother who freaking inhales his food. You had to be fast, Jackson loves blueberry pie too."

"Older or younger?"

"The pie?" I frown, confused. "Well, freshly baked is always better of course but I'm not-"

"No," He shakes his head, smiling. "Your brother."

Oh, that question makes a lot more sense.

"Younger." I nod.

"Mine too."

This whole day has felt like a nightmare but now I know for a fact that I am dreaming. Because Sirius Black never, ever, talks about his family. I'm sure he shares limited knowledge with James and the rest of the Marauders but nobody brings it up, unless they have a death wish. That was in fact the last time I saw how terrifying a furious Sirius Black could be. Ravenwood made some back-handed comment about him being a supposed blood traitor that I didn't even hear but I definitely saw his reaction to it. He looked so livid, nearly possessed by anger. He was ready to smash the guy's face against the brick wall if James and Remus hadn't held him back. I would have peed my pants if it had been directed at me and I'm sure Ravenwood would have done so if Slytherins didn't have strict rules about not peeing their pants in public. Despite this being his absolute sore spot that is never to be discussed or even hinted at, he is now mentioning his brother so casually to me like I've always been privy to such delicate information.

"Oh...euhm... Regulus, right?"

As if I don't know.

"Yeah," He nods, not at all as uncomfortable by this conversation as he normally would be. "He's in fifth year."

"Jackson too," I quickly say, as though I didn't have to listen to my own brother whine about his over the summer. "Who knew we had so much in common?"

"Not quite the same though," He says and I feel like I should smack myself in the face for that comment. "But we are more similar than you probably thought."

"Really?" I frown, disbelieving.

"We have plenty of things in common," He tells me as he hands me another piece of pie. "Not your love for sweets, but still plenty of things."

"Like what?" I wonder.

"We both enjoy Quidditch but don't play it."

"That's a bit of a long shot, don't you think?" I snort. "Lots of people do and it's not as if I'm as obsessed by it as you are."

"You have to be a little obsessed if you live in one house with Prongs."

Right, they're not only best friends but they also live together. Wait... what? I didn't know that!

"You guys live together?" I frown.

"Oh, didn't he ever tell you that?"

No, he did not. But he did know of my strong apathy for his best friend so we usually tried to avoid the topic of Sirius Black. Still, I feel like he could have mentioned this.

"He didn't," I pout.

I mean, I know James was never all that serious about dating me but before that shit hit the fan, we were friends. He should have told me something big like that.

"Yeah, the summer before sixth year I left home and the Potters took me in. Been living there ever since."

"You left?" I try not to make it sound like an accusation but I'm not sure I fully managed. He doesn't seem upset though. "Why?"

"It's hard to explain," He looks away from me for the first time since we sat down across each other. "You never met my parents, and for that you should count yourself very fortunate but... How much did Prongs tell you?"

"Not much," I admit. "It wasn't my business anyway."

It's still not my business but for some reason Black disagrees now. I know that's probably because of the love potion but I'm too curious about this information that he discusses with no one to stop him. He can hate me for it tomorrow, when he's returned to his senses.

"Well, like most purebloods they believe they're bloody superior to everyone who isn't pure breeding. I don't agree, even less since I was sorted into Gryffindor and met the guys. Every summer we fought over our clashing beliefs. Especially my mother hated me for it. I was planning on leaving as soon as I turned seventeen anyway but she got a lot more... forceful in trying to change me."

"Forceful?" I frown, worried that I might not like the explanation my confusion will get me.

"Nothing new," He waves away my concern but it doesn't feel as light or breezy as he usually talks. "I just had to get out of there."

I try to keep my face smooth as not to make him see how this knowledge upsets me. I can't really pinpoint why it makes my stomach turn but it does. Perhaps it's because I had such a nice childhood with such loving and understanding parents that it always kind of takes me by surprise when I realise not everyone gets that. A lot of people don't get that. And I knew Sirius Black's home wasn't the greatest but it still takes me by surprise to hear him say it. Also, I've gotten used to a smiling, very pushy and touchy version of the guy today. To see him uncomfortable and somewhat nervous now, doesn't seem right.

"I'm sorry."

My frown deepens even further when I hear him apologise. I'm pretty sure he has nothing to be sorry about... in this situation. He should have apologised to me a million times before in the past for a lot of other things but he never did because Sirius Black doesn't apologise for anything, ever.

"For what?"

"I've upset you," He looks back at me, actually looking quite sorry.

"No," I shake my head. "You didn't."

For a change.

He's done plenty of things to upset me in the past; called me names, boycotted a lot of my class assignments, convinced our entire year that James had broken up with me because I had syphilis. Plenty of things that upset me and he should have apologised for but he never cared enough to do so.

"You look upset," He points out the flaw in my denial.

"I am," I admit. "But not because of you. I'm upset because... well, I suppose it's because you're upset."

I'm bloody empathic that way. It's very annoying.

Black doesn't seem to think it's annoying though. As soon as the words leave my mouth, the blinding smile with nearly childlike enthusiasm appears on his face again and he looks at me with twinkling eyes.

"You care," He sighs happily.

"I'm not a bloody monster," I mutter under my breath, afraid that this stroke of kindness towards him is going to delude him into thinking I'm giving him permission to touch me now.

"You're bloody awesome," He smiles at me. "I've always known you could be kind. Prongs used to brag about how considerate you were to him. Made me fucking jealous."

"Jealous?"

Sirius Black has never had any reason to feel jealous of anyone, he's the person everyone else is jealous of. Especially not of me, I never meant as much to James as his best friend does. I think even Lily Evans, love of his life, has some serious competition there.

"Oh, yes," He nods with full conviction. "Very jealous."

"Why would you ever be jealous of me?" I frown.

"Of you? No. I was jealous of Prongs."

Euhm... what?

"Of James?" I gasp. "Why?"

"Why?" Black gapes at me like it's the stupidest question he's ever heard. Well, excuse me for demanding some clarity on this very confusing conversation. "Because he got to spend time with you, because you actually smiled when he showed up, because he got to date you, because you actually agreed to go on a date with him."

"Are you..." I can't believe I'm actually asking him this. "Are you telling me you wanted all those things?"

To spend time with me, to date me. That sounds like the last thing in the world sane Sirius Black would want but the enamoured version of him isn't saying he's just madly in love with me today, he's saying he was... whatever last year.

"Well," He frowns. "I’m not really good at dating, so I probably would have only made you hate me more. But it would have been really nice if you could have smiled at me like that, or maybe wanted to spend some time together. I knew you'd inevitably date someone but it kind of really sucked when it was James and I had to watch you with him every single day."

He really does sound jealous! Of his best friend, for dating me. Me, Lena Pellt, the girl who barely meant anything to his mate, somehow made the Hogwarts heartthrob infatuated with her. How the hell did I do that? All we ever do is argue.

"But... we fight all the time."

"Yeah, I might have stolen a page out of James' book with that. Besides, you come up with the best come-backs. A girl that can shut me up, is a girl to my heart."

"Why di- wait, does James know?"

I don't know if I'm believing all this right now but let's say, for argument's sake, that I do. If so, James broke guy code. You don't go after the girl your friend fancies. I can vividly recall how livid James was when he suspected Remus of hooking up with Lily behind his back in fifth year. It turned out that they were just studying together but that clearly states how James feels about going after your mate's crush. I have a hard time imagining he'd do that to Sirius.

"Not really..." He says very slowly, making me doubt the sincerity of it.

"What does that mean?"

"Well, I'm pretty sure he knows now, even though I never really told him."

"Is that the reason he broke up with me?" I narrow my eyes at him.

Him dumping me because he still had very unresolved feelings for Lily Evans sounded pretty honest to me, especially since they ended up dating a couple months after, but perhaps there was more to it than that? 

"No, he definitely didn't know then. I distinctly remember telling him he'd be an idiot to break up with you but Remus said he shouldn't string you along if he still had feelings for Evans."

"That's nice," I smile softly.

"Yeah, Remus is nice like that," He shrugs.

"I meant you."

Sirius completely lights up at that comment and I actually find myself thinking he looks cute. Everyone knows the bloke is fit and has a face like it was sculpted out of marble but cute is definitely not an adjective I heard being used on him. And yet he is. A Sirius Black with his guard down and heart on his sleeve is very endearing. Why can't the real one be more like that?

"Really?" He beams. "You'll be my girlfriend then?"

"No!"

I slap away his hands when they try to cup my face, glaring at him. This was a decent moment, why did he have to ruin it by getting all handsy again?

"I don't know how much of the way you're acting is really you, and how much is the potion talking," I sigh.

It's hard to distinguish because me and Sirius have never really talked before. Sure, we've yelled and bickered but I can't recall any time we just sat down and had a chat, like we're doing right now. Is that because maybe we never really tried, or because infatuated Sirius is nothing like the real one?

"It's not the potion! I swear it has no effect on me! I've always liked you, really really liked you. Today I just had-"

"An epiphany," I repeat what he's been trying to convince me of the entire day.

I know he's still under the influence of Amortentia and that's why he's declaring his love for me and trying to sneak in kisses but I don't know if it's the same for him telling me he's always liked me. There's just tiny things he says and knows, that makes me think that maybe there's some truth to that. Perhaps I just want it to be the case. Don't get me wrong, I still very much dislike the guy but if this is a part of the real Sirius Black that I just never really got to see before, he might not be so bad.

"What do I have to do to prove to you that I'm serious?" I've never really seen him make that pun unintentionally, or with a straight face. "I'd do anything."

Oh, really?

"I'm so glad you said that," I smirk.


	4. Closer

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you Takemetowonderland420 for reviewing.

It is not a hard thing to do to convince Sirius what a great idea it would be to launch a dung bomb attack on Filch, I'm sure he would have happily gone along with it in his normal state of being as well. I'm not so sure the same can be said about telling Miss Pince she should date professor Slughorn, or serenading the second year Slytherin boys, or dropping a hiccuping potion in the pumpkin juice supply of the House Elves. The Sirius that hangs on my every word though, is very easily persuaded to give into what I want.

I can enjoy a good prank every now and then, when I'm not the usual victim of today's partner in crime. Even I have to admit that the Marauders can come up with some really good ones though this is the first time I've ever collaborated. It's kind of nice, doing this with Sirius for a change instead of getting it done to me. I had no idea it was actually possible for me to have so much fun with him.

We're running away from Madam Pomfrey after she got caught in a water balloon war between us and Peeves. Since they all just fell through our opponent, I think it's right to say we lost. Nonetheless, I had a blast. Up until the point Pomfrey started screaming at us for what we did to the hallway and accidentally her hair of course. I'm pretty sure she recognised us as she was shouting 'Black! Pellt!' the entire time, but Sirius still pulled me along in a mad escape and I kind of just followed.

One floor up, Sirius pulls me into a hidden alcove behind the tapestry of Barnabas the Barmy teaching trolls to dance I had no idea even existed. Though it's quite narrow, it's still big enough to be standing in it with two people and keep a distance between us that I'm only mildly uncomfortable with.

"Why did we run?" I finally question. "She knows it's us."

"Give her some time to cool down," He smirks down at me. "Poppy will be much milder if she runs into us later."

"Poppy?" I frown. "You're on first name bases with the Hospital Wing Matron?"

"I do, occasionally, spend some time there."

"You do?" I frown.

I'm sure there are plenty of pranks that went a bit awry, but being admitted to the Hospital Wing, occasionally, sounds a bit more worrisome that an involuntarily explosion.

"Don't worry, all my body parts are still intact," He wiggles his eyebrows suggestively, for which I slap him of course.

Even though I'm officially appalled at the remark, I can't help but let a little laugh escape me. At hearing me laugh, the flirty expression slips off Sirius' face and that amazed, beaming expression returns like I'm some kind of freaking miracle. It still makes me uncomfortable of course but I guess it really makes Sirius kind of radiant in return as well. Damn, I think I've spend too much time with him today. The Black charm is getting to my head.

"I like it when you laugh," He says to me softly, making the whole moment feel that much more intimate. "I really like it when I make you laugh."

Sirius has always had a good sense of humour, it just often crosses the line between funny and insulting when he addresses me. Today though, he was just really, really fun.

"I bet you say that to all the girls," I tease because I know for a fact Sirius Black sprouts a lot of gooey nonsense like that when he's trying to get in a girl's pants. The things Mackenzie relayed to us last year were horridly hilarious. This, not so much. 

"Is that the problem?" He frowns. "You don't like me because you think I've been with countless other girls? They mean nothing."

"Sirius-" I start, knowing I don't have to take anything he says today seriously. 

"Because I haven't been with nearly as many girls as everyone thinks. Only three."

"What?" I laugh. "You can't expect me to believe you've only dated three girls before."

No one in their right mind would ever believe that. This year alone, I've already spotted him making out with five different girls. 

"Dated? Oh, no, that's only one. Just Polly."

"What about Hayley Lancer then, or Juliet Heathsbrough, or Elena Jace? And I know for a fact you've been with Mackenzie as well."

There's no way I'm believing that lie.

"I've been on dates with lots of girls, and usually that is accompanied with kissing but none of those were ever my girlfriend. I never even slept with any of them, only three."

I have to remind myself not to believe anything he says under the influence of Amortentia but then why does he look so bloody sincere? 

"I can easily come up with eight girls who have said-"

"Exactly," He interrupts me. "They say we had sex because they like everyone to think we did. And when a gorgeous girl wants to make people believe I gave her the best night of her life, who am I to call her a liar?"

"You're serious?" I frown. 

"Oh, Lena, don't give me such an easy opening for a joke," He smiles. "But yes, I am."

I find myself actually believing his words. Because despite the many dates and make-out sessions, I don't think I can come up with any girl I'm absolutely certain of that did in fact sleep with him. Even Mackenzie admitted that though they had gone on dates for a month, they never did anything more than shove tongues down each other's throats. She certainly never declared herself his girlfriend either. 

Could it be, that the most sought after guy in the entire castle is not the sleaze everyone thinks he is? That I always accused him of being?

"I call you man-whore," I say, as though he somehow forgot.

"Yes, you do," He smiles. "It seems to really aggravate you. I like it."

"Why?"

"I can pretend it's because you're jealous."

I don't know what to believe anymore. He seems so sincere about this whole confession thing but if he really did feel that way about me, why didn't he ever say anything? Why did he act like I appalled him? Why would he have done all the things that he has? It makes no sense!

"You dated Mackenzie," I narrow my eyes at him in accusation. "You dated one of my best friends. Why would you do that if you really liked me?"

"I really just did that to piss you off and it definitely worked. Once again, I hoped you were jealous."

"I was worried that you were going to hurt my friend," I scoff.

Which, thankfully, he didn't. They kind of just shimmered out and after that she dated Jake Nicolin for four months. 

"I didn't," He stresses. "I knew it would hurt you if I did."

It's true then? Sirius Black liked me?

"If you liked me, like that, why didn't you ever say anything?" I frown. 

"If I had told you, what would you have said?" He raises an eyebrow at me. 

I would have assumed he was messing with me, or that he got hexed. And then I'd hex him for messing with me. 

"Good point," I admit. 

"And, Lena?" I jump a little when his hand grips mine in the tight alcove. "There is no liked, past tense. I like you, then and now."

"Are saying you've liked me for nearly two years?" I stare at him in shock. 

"Well, there's been periods I thought I stopped but I never really did. I have been quite deeply infatuated with you for two years, yes."

Holy shit! What?! Sirius Black likes me, and has felt that way for two years during which we did nothing but yell at and insult each other. Is that what infatuation feels like?

He's still holding on to my hand and I find I don't actually mind. His hand is warm and soft and it's nice, that someone wants to hold my hand altogether. But then Sirius starts leaning down, like he's been trying to do all day, and I could totally pull away and push him off if I wanted to but I'm not actually doing anything. Is this really happening? Am I really going to let Sirius Black kiss me? The idea doesn't seem as appalling as it used to be. Usually he's an ass and rude and so aggravating but today he's fun and charming and kind and perhaps I actually want this Sirius to kiss me. Yes, that's it. I'm not going to push him away and let him kiss me but I'm not kissing him back. That way I can still pretend he enforced this on me once he regains his senses. And at the same time I get to finally know what it's like to be kissed by Sirius Black.

"There you are!"

I turn my head to the person who's discovered us in the hidden alcove, making Sirius' lips fall on my cheek instead of my mouth. I stare with big eyes at Peter Pettigrew who's holding back the tapestry and looking at us like he expected us to be on the verge of killing one another, not making out. Which we weren't! And I desperately hope it looked to him like I was pushing Sirius away, my hands did somehow find their way to his shoulders.

As emotionally confused as I am about this sudden interruption - I don't know whether to be disappointed or relieved that the kiss missed its mark - Sirius is definitely settling on angry.

"What the hell, Wormtail?!" He glares at his friend, still standing unusually close to me.

I quickly push him backwards so that I can slip past Peter and out of our hiding spot.

"I've been following you for almost an hour. Every time I nearly catch up to you guys, you sprint off in another direction."

Well, we have been moving all over the place this afternoon but how would he know that?

"How did you find us?" I frown.

Did he just randomly guess this hidden alcove is where we'd be? What are the odds? Or maybe this is where Sirius takes girls every time he's missing.

Peter seems to get uncomfortably by my question, so I'm guessing that this really is his make-out spot. That makes me feel kind of dirty, and stupid for thinking I could possibly-

"He found us with the Map," Sirius simply says when he comes to stand with us in the hallway.

"The Map?" I dumbly repeat.

"Padfoot," Peter says in warning but he's about as threatening as a koala bear so Sirius simply spills the bean.

"The Marauder's Map," He pulls a piece of paper out of Peter's back pocket. "It's a map of Hogwarts that we made. Here, I'll show you."

Peter looks at him in horror while I creep closer in fascination, watching him tap the parchment with his wand and whispering 'I solemnly swear that I am up to no good'.

When I snort at his choice of words, black ink suddenly starts spreading from the tip of his wand to the rest of the parchment, forming a blueprint of what I think is Hogwarts. Yep, that dot just said Poppy Pomfrey. It's definitely our school.

"This is amazing," I breathe out as I let my fingers trace the lines on the parchment, representing the Ravenclaw common room.

"It's also a secret," Peter looks at Sirius with something that must have been a glare but he never could look at the guy with anything other than adoration.

"I keep no secrets from Lena," He simply replies.

While that does give me the opportunity to let him tell me all his dirtiest, most embarrassing secrets, it doesn't feel quite right that he's telling me things he probably swore to his friends he'd never, ever tell.

"I won't tell anyone," I promise Peter, who's probably worrying about how James and Remus will partially blame him for Sirius' loose tongue.

"You better," Peter sighs. "Because if you do-"

"Are you calling Lena a liar?" Sirius threateningly steps in front of Peter, shielding me from view like I'm some poor little first year who needs to be protected from a bully.

"W-what? N-no..."

"Knock it off," I push Sirius to the side - I suspect he's letting me because I'm definitely not strong enough to hold back a pissed off Black - so I can look at Peter's frightened face once more. "Why were you looking for us anyway?"

I hope changing the subject will somehow make everyone cool down.

"McGonagall let me off earlier so I thought I'd come relieve you."

Oh, right. I had made a scene this morning about how no one wanted to assist in keeping Sirius away from me. That does seem a bit over-exaggerated now but only because I actually ended up having a great day. Who knew? Of course Peter doesn't know that so it was pretty considerate of him to come and babysit his friend for me.

"That's really nice of you, Peter," I say.

"Yeah, well, I assumed you'd be tired of playing babysitter by now. I'm actually surprises you're both still alive."

"She's not babysitting," Sirius scowls. "We're on a date."

Well, technically... I have no idea what today was.

"Yes," I nod, just to placate him. "We are, but I think it's time to call it a day."

"What?" Sirius turns a quarter more to look at me. "Why?"

He once again looks destroyed at the thought that he won't get to spend time with me anymore. He makes a very convincing expression of despair.

"Well, euhm..." I can't actually come up with an argument. "Don't you want to spend some time with Peter?"

"No," He scoffs quickly.

I'm pretty sure his friend should feel insulted by that reaction. In his right mind, I think Sirius would have jumped at the opportunity to get away from me and hang out with a fellow Marauder. This Sirius though seems adamant on staying close to me.

"Well, I have some stuff to do myself," I try.

"We can do them together!"

Nice as it has surprisingly been to spend time with this Sirius, I could use a breather.

"We can't," I shake my head. "Because... 'cause it's... a surprise!"

"A surprise?" He frowns.

"Yes, for you. I'm working on a surprise for you," I lie.

"Really?" He suddenly perks up, happy at the lie that I'm spending my free time organising something for him. It almost makes me guilty.

"Yes, so of course you can't see it yet."

"Of course," He nods understandingly.

"Okay, let's go then," Peter takes off with a pouting Sirius following after him.

"Wait," I say and as soon as I do, Sirius rushes back to me like some happy little puppy who just heard the key turn in the lock at the end of a long, lonely day.

Peter watches expectantly at what I'm going to say but this is for Sirius' ears only so I glare at him until he looks away and slowly turns the corner.

"Tomorrow, after breakfast," I specify the time. The timing is very important. "If you still feel like hanging out sometimes, that... that would be cool with me."

Sirius smiles and leans down to whisper in my ear.

"Does that mean you'll be my girlfriend?"

"No, " I push him away but unlike last time, I'm actually laughing. "Now, get out."

"I'll see you soon?" He pouts.

"Yes, soon. I promise."

Watching Sirius Black skip down the hallway is not as funny as one would think, it's actually more endearing than anything else. Merlin, I really have been spending way too much time with him today.


	5. Awkward Confessions

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I want to thank everyone who's bookmarked this story, send their kudo's and, in particular, left a comment. Thank you Isabelle and Huarta.
> 
> I do agree that it might seem like Lena is falling fast for Sirius. Since I intended the story to be a one-shot I couldn't drag that out for too long and I know it's faster than I'd usually write, but I do hope it's not too fast.
> 
> I hope you enjoy the new chapter.

I only realise how late it is when I return to the Ravenclaw common room and it looks like most people have already returned from Hogsmeade, including my friends. I'm actually quite happy to see them once I enter our dorm, even April while she was one of the people who left me with Sirius today. I guess she's kind of forgiven since it wasn't nearly as bad as I had feared.

"She's alive!" Mackenzie screams at me, dragging me to sit down next to her. "I was so sure you and Sirius would have killed each other off by now."

"Why does everyone assume we can't interact peacefully?" I mutter under my breath but I know they all heard it because they're staring at me with open mouths.

"Because you can't?" Mary suggests.

"Really though, how was it?" April winces, bracing herself for my answer.

"It was... nice."

"What?!" They all frown.

"I know, I know. I can't be in the same room with the guy normally but today was actually fun," I shrug.

If possible, I'm sure their jaws would have dropped all the way to the floor.

"Did he hex you?" April looks concerned. "I can see him hexing you."

"He wouldn't," Nora shakes her head. "He's in love with her today, remember? He wouldn't do anything harmful to her today."

Why does she have to stress out the 'today' part? He's only known to hex me a handful of times. Actually, now that I think about it, it's usually me whipping out the wand.

"Not just today, apparently," I say.

"What do you mean?"

"Okay, I know Sirius is under the influence of the love potion but there was something different about him that I don't think had anything to do with that. He was actually kind of nice and funny and charming. I'm aware I shouldn't believe any love declarations leaving his mouth today but he said... he said he's had a crush on me for two years."

I watch with bathed breath as my friends soak up the new information.

"You're calling him by his first name?" Nora frowns.

"Of course he's saying stuff like that," April scoffs. "Right now he'd say anything to make you take this morning's love declaration seriously. Amortentia is no Veritaserum, Lena."

But Mackenzie's reaction is certainly the least expected.

"That makes total sense!"

"What?" The three us of turn to our elated friend. 

"Sirius Black being in love with Lena for Merlin knows how long makes total sense!" She beams. "You know, I had my suspicions when he and I were hanging out and he only seemed to be all over me whenever you were near. But then he got semi-serious with Polly and I figured I was wrong. But I wasn't!"

Am I the only one then who was totally surprised with this reveal? At least April and Nora appear to be equally shocked while Mackenzie just sits there, looking smug.

"Why didn't you tell me?" I frown.

"Because you would have just laughed at me," She smiles victoriously. "But you're not laughing now, are you?"

I wish I could counter that but they can all see I didn't just laugh away the preposterous idea. I'm actually thinking it might be the truth. Do I want it to be true? I think I do. On the condition that the Sirius I saw today is the one that's always been underneath his tough guy act.

"Wait, back up!" April shouts for a time-out. "Are you saying you'd be okay with that?"

"Yeah? Maybe... possibly? I don't know!" I sigh dramatically as I fall back on the bed. "All I know is that I really liked spending time with him today. I just don't know if that's really him or just the potion talking."

"Perhaps."

"He's never been too bad, you know."

"You hate the guy! Just because he was more helpless today than normally, doesn't suddenly change that!"

I'm surprised that Nora and Mackenzie seem to be so cool with my change of heart. April's clearly having the same struggles I've been suffering through all day. How much of the guy I spend today with is the real Sirius Black?

"I know," I whine. "It's just that... I really liked who I saw today. I just don't know if he's real."

"There's only one way to find out," Nora says. "You wait until the potion wears off and ask him about it tomorrow."

"What if he laughs?" I whisper.

"He wouldn't do that," Mackenzie shakes her head.

"Of course he would," April huffs. "Sirius Black has always taken some sick enjoyment in humiliating Lena."

She makes a good point. There's that time he summoned a gust of wind to display my knickers to the entire Great Hall, that time he called me sloppy seconds for our whole class to hear, that time he hexed my white shirts to automatically soak themselves after an hour, becoming see-through. Yes, April definitely has a point.

"He won't laugh," Mackenzie insists. "Because he really does like Lena."

Nonetheless, I'm not so sure anymore I want to have that conversation. Once he returns to normal and I ask him if he really likes me, he'll probably say 'Merlin, Pellt, I was obviously under the influence of Amortentia. Of course I don't like you, never have, never will.'. I'm pretty sure I don't need to hear that.

Or... well, perhaps knowing he told me what he did, might make it easier on him to tell the truth. If him liking me is really the truth. I guess I'll just have to wait and see. Maybe I'll just let him take the lead on this. After all, he does owe me an apology for violating my mouth the way he did at breakfast. Am I really expecting him to say he's sorry to me? Clearly, I'm becoming delusional.

My thoughts and our conversation are interrupted when the dorm's door opens and in step our two remaining roommates.

"You!" Polly screams as soon as her eyes land on me. "You two-faced bitch! All these years you pretend not to like Sirius and then when I have the genius idea of giving him a love potion, you highjack my plan!"

"I did no such thing, " I scoff, disgusted at the idea that I would stoop low enough to use Amortentia to force a guy to like me, let alone a guy I've despised up until this morning. "And I did not steal your plan, okay? Your plan was pathetic and just downright stupid."

"Slut!" She pulls out her wand and throws herself at me. "I'll kill you!"

I'm very fortunate that I have awesome friends who jump in front of me when a crazy woman lungs at me because I would have been dead without them, seeing how I left my wand on my nightstand. There's no way I could have reached it in time before Polly transfigured me into a toad.

"Wow, Polly," April positions herself between the two of us while Nora makes an attempt to pull Polly's wand arm down. Mackenzie's just looking at the whole thing with mild interest. "Lena didn’t do that."

"She did!" Polly pushes Nora away and tries to get close to me again. Fortunately Tammie, Polly's best friend, seems to think we should all calm down as well.

"Lena does kind of hate him," She frowns.

"Exactly!" I scream at her from the other side of the room. I'm smart enough to back away to the furthest corner. Polly might not be a master dueller but I've seen the vicious hexes she used on Sirius when she caught him cheating and that's what she does to someone she loves. I don't want to know what she'll do to her obnoxious roommate. "I don't like the bloke! Did you not see me pushing him away this morning?"

Even though she looks like she still wants to kill me, she does seem to hesitate in her next attempt to get her hands on me.

"Then why did he fall in love with you?" She narrows her eyes.

Oh, if only I could tell her that he apparently never needed a love potion for that.

"That would be my bad," April smiles sheepishly at the furious blonde. "Lena was present when I brewed the potion and a hair must have slipped in."

Though I'm glad she doesn't look at me with murder in her eyes anymore, I'm not too sure having her glare holes through April's head is an improvement. After all, she did tell me not to lean too far over the cauldron.

"I want my money back," She narrows her eyes at my best friend.

"Oh. Y-yeah, of course... I can do that." April blinks sheepishly at her.

I hope the gift she got Hector wasn't too expensive because it looks like she'll have to pay back what she earned. I don't think Polly would be up for a payment plan.

The supposed love of Sirius Black's life (?) gives us all the stink eye, especially me, before storming out of the dorm, with Tammie in tow, leaving us all shocked in silence. Nora is the first one to break it.

"You brewed her the love potion?" She frowns, looking at April.

"Yeah," She admits. "Didn't I tell you that?"

"No," Mackenzie smirks. "You conveniently left that out when you explained to us why Sirius Black molested Lena this morning."

"She paid you?" Nora's frown deepens.

"I just needed some cash to buy a Valentine present," April mutters.

"What are you going to do?" I ask her.

"Ask Hector for his gift back and hope the store takes back dragon hide gloves?" She winces. "I'm a terrible girlfriend."

I want to repeat that my cousin isn't materialistic at all but asking back a gift you gave on the same day is just rude to anyone. Perhaps he'll be more understanding if she'll explain the entire ordeal.

"If you tell him everything, I'm sure he'll understand."

"I'll be mortified!" She gasps.

"But understood," I nod.

I can tell she doesn't want to agree with me - most people don't - but in the end she sighs in defeat and trudges down the stairs to go find Hector. It probably won't be a pleasant conversation and he might even get mad at her for brewing the love potion in the first place but I'm sure they'll work something out. They're the couple that makes me believe healthy relationships do exist. I need a bit of that hope right now, if I'm really considering taking the plunge with a notorious heartbreaker. I'm pretty sure I'll regret it.

Not in the mood for running into the source of all my conflicting emotions, I decide to skip dinner and instead ask my friends to bring back some food for me. Mackenzie makes some lame joke about whatever I could possibly be hoping to avoid but by Nora's sympathising look, I know I won't be starving tonight. They've been gone for almost an hour, which is really freaking long when you're hungry. Don't they know I'm waiting on them to feed me? Finally, they walk back into the dorm, looking kind of... pissed?

"I think I finally get why people don't like stalkers," Mackenzie sighs as she drops a bag of goods in front of me, that I quickly devour. "It was kind of cute when that fourth year Hufflepuff followed me around everywhere but it's just downright annoying when Sirius does it."

"Huh?" I gape at them mid-bite.

"He wouldn't leave us alone," Nora says.

"As soon as we entered the Great Hall, he ambushed us, demanding - yes, demanding - that we tell him where you were," Mackenzie sighs, futily attempting to steal a bite from my pie. "And then we made the mistake of telling him we didn't know."

"What's bad about that?" I shrug, knowing it's the same excuse I use whenever some poor bloke asks about Mackenzie and I can't exactly tell them she's out with some other guy.

"He got really upset, coming up with these horrid scenarios where you were lying dead in an alcove or something. It brought him close to tears," Nora looks upset herself when she tells me this, unlike Mackenzie who looks like she's remembering some hilarious joke. "It was hard to watch."

"Yeah," I nod understandingly. "He's been like that all day."

"So after pestering us during the entire meal, we told him you were most likely up in our dorm."

"I told him you must have a headache from spending so much time with him," Mackenzie smirks.

"Which is why he insisted following us all the way to the tower to make sure you're alright. He's waiting at the entrance for you. He wanted to come up with us when the passage opened but Mac told him she'll tell you what a terrible person he is if he does."

"I can't believe he actually listened," She shakes her head in disbelief. "Anyway, I'm pretty sure he'll be waiting there all evening, and all the hours left until the 24 are up, if you don't go down."

Man, I really don't want to see him right now. I'm trying to make myself go back to hating his guts, which will only get harder if I have to face his adorably concerned puppy eyes.

"Just tell him I'm busy."

"Did you not hear how he followed us around?" Mackenzie frowns. "He's not going to back down that easily."

"Fine! Just... just tell him I'm working on his surprise."

"You're working on a surprise for him?" Nora looks around the room but can't spot anything I would be making for Sirius.

"No," I roll my eyes at her naivety that could match current Sirius' one. "But that's the excuse I used to get away from him before dinner. I'm sure he'll buy it again. Just let him know it's a work in progress and it will be all clear in the morning."

The potion should have worn off by then and we can all get back to the normal way of things. Well, perhaps not normal in the way it's always been. Perhaps I'd like a change in that.

Mackenzie throws me a look that clearly states I should fend off my own stalkers - hypocrite! - but Nora's already going downstairs to get rid of him from me. Thank goodness!

"What happened to 'he's so different' and 'I really liked spending time with him today'?" Mackenzie asks as she eyes the food I didn't finish.

"He is, and I did," I admit, handing over the goods. "But that's only for today."

"So enjoy it while it lasts, if you believe that," She shrugs.

"I guess I don't want it, if it's not permanent," I sigh.

"And if it is?"

I don't know. I suppose I wouldn't mind trying to figure out what parts of Sirius today will still be part of Sirius tomorrow. I always thought there must be more to the guy than the tough guy act and I hope I'm right, I hope I got a glimpse of the real person today. I just don't want to get my hopes up in case it turns out the only thing kind about him was artificial, and temporary. 

My fake surprise once again does wonders in getting rid of Sirius. Nora comes up a couple minutes later, saying he backed off meek as a lamb. We spend the rest of the evening avoiding the topic, which I'm grateful for. After the eventful day I had, I'm exhausted at ten o'clock and decide to crawl into my bed. Though I expected to lie awake tossing and turning, worrying about what tomorrow will bring, I fall asleep rather quickly.


	6. Too Close

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Since I'm leaving on holiday in a few hours, I figured that instead of skipping this Monday's update, I better just give you this chapter a little earlier. I hope you'll enjoy this chapter too as it was a lot of fun to write.
> 
> Thank you **me** and **Isabelle** for reviewing.

I'm a deep sleeper, meaning I'm not waking up unless my alarm clock goes off or my bed curtains are on fire. So to find myself waking up in the middle of the night, nowhere near the hour to get up, with my curtains in their normal state, I know something is up. 

"You're so beautiful when you're sleeping."

"What the hell?!" I gasp when I realise I'm not the only one in my bed. 

I scramble backwards as fast as I can, trying to get away from my uninvited guest who is sitting way too close to me. Exactly how long has he been watching me sleep?

"Sirius?" I squint my eyes in the dark, making out the familiar form of the guy I spend the day with. 

"Were you expecting someone else?" I think he frowns. 

"No one!" I snap. "There's supposed to be no one in my bed!"

"I wanted to surprise you," He pouts. At least I think he's pouting, it's rather hard to see in the dark.

"Well, I'm surprised!"

I'm obviously not pleased about the heart attack he's given me tonight but even though I can't see it, I'm sure he's looking pleased at pulling off a surprise. Lovesick Sirius doesn't get sarcasm.

"Lena?" Nora's groggy voice comes from the right side of my bed, where hers is. "Who are you talking to?"

Oh, crap. I don't want any of my dorm members seeing Sirius Black in my bed. Even though my friends are aware he's still forcibly in love with me, I doubt Polly and Tammie will be as understanding. It certainly doesn't mean my friends won’t tease me mercilessly for it either.

"No one," I lie. "Just a dream."

"I am quite dr-" Sirius starts but I shut him up by clasping my hand over his mouth.

"Just talking in my sleep," I quickly say. "Everything's fine. Go back to sleep, Nora."

An agreeing murmur is all I get from her side of the dorm. Even though Nora has probably already fallen asleep again, I don't want to risk making any noise until I hear her snoring. So for the next couple of minutes I sit in silence with Sirius Black in my bed, keeping my hand on his mouth, feeling him breathe on it. For someone who just snuck into the girl's dormitory of another house and nearly got caught by my dorm member, his breathing is very calm and steady. Mine not so much. 

When I finally hear little gurgling sounds coming from the bed next to mine, I slowly withdraw my hand.

"Why are you here?" Even though I'm whispering, I think you can still clearly hear the anger.

"I wanted to see you."

"Sirius, you can't just-"

As I give him a shove - somehow I should be able to get it through his thick skull that I'm not happy about this at all - the sentence dies in my throat when my hand makes contact with skin. Bare skin. Around the chest area. Is he-

I quickly withdraw my hand as though his warm skin burned me and scramble around the nightstand until I can feel the smooth surface of my wand.

"Lumos," I whisper.

Oh fuck!

Yep, Sirius Black is in my bed. Naked.

It feels like my eyes will explode out of their sockets at the ridiculously gorgeous appearance in front of me. Sirius Black has always bragged about how fit he is but I really didn't need to see proof of it. I quickly avert my gaze from the bare chest in front of me that is annoyingly ripped. If I hadn't felt the muscles myself (accidentally!), I would think the day's events had messed with my head so much, this is a dream. Because people don't look like that in real life. I chance a quick glance to let me know that yes, Sirius Black really does look like that underneath the Hogwarts uniform.

"Why are you naked in my bed?" I sigh exasperated because I'm only human and Sirius Black is actually making it hard to remind myself that he's not in his right state of mind at the moment and I cannot take advantage of that.

"I'm not naked," He reaches out to gently grasp my chin and direct my gaze back to him instead of the very interesting drapes around my bed. "See?"

Only now I notice that he's still wearing one piece of clothing, though the tights boxer shorts don't exactly leave much to the imagination either. I guess technically he's not naked.

"Fine," I huff, looking away again because Sirius Black's whole body has hypnotic qualities and at least one of us should think straight. It's clearly not going to be him. "Why are you practically naked in my bed?"

"I told you, I wanted to see you," He smiles brightly at me.

Fuck, even his face is distracting!

"Please focus on the barely clothed part of the question, Sirius."

"I always sleep like this." Oh, man, that is some serious girl fantasy stuff. "Why do you sleep in pyjama's?"

He sounds disappointed at that but I clearly hadn't received the memo that an almost naked gorgeous boy was going to be making an appearance in my bed tonight. If I had, I wouldn't have worn my very comfy pyjama's with teddy bears on it. To be honest, I would have just locked the door.

"It's the middle of winter," I huff, suddenly very self-conscious of my own bed attire even though I'm not the one wearing only underwear. “They’re warm, and I'm cold."

"I could warm you," He smirks at me as he approaches me once more, laying a hand on my tight that I quickly swat away.

Is it just me or is it really, really hot in here? Damn pyjama's!

"You'll do not such thing," I find my gaze uncontrollably pulled to his chest again. "And will you please put on a shirt?"

"I didn't bring one," He grins.

That can be fixed. 

I quietly slip out of my bed, checking that all my dorm members remain fast asleep and sneak to my trunk at the foot of my bed. I silently thank my brother for having the good sense to occasionally oil the hinges of the trunk so that it won't make any noise when I need to open it in the middle of the night. Somewhere near the bottom, I pull out an oversized shirt that I sleep in during the warmer months.

"Here," I throw my shirt at him. "Put that on."

Sirius quickly obeys and pulls on the blue t-shirt. While the shirt usually hangs very loosely on my own frame, he fills it quite nicely. To my great annoyance, wearing that rag doesn't make him any less attractive. In fact I kind of like him wearing my clothes. Usually the fantasy is the other way around but I'm definitely getting its appeal now.

"Good," I nod, pleased that this might make it easier on me to fight the urge to give into the temptations. Only slightly though. "Now will you please leave?"

"No," He shakes his head feverishly. "I want to be with you!"

His tantrum causes the sheets behind Polly's curtains to shift. Oh fuck, is she waking up?! She might just assume Sirius Black's voice is a part of her dream but I don't want her to wake up to this midnight debacle. She'll really kill me this time around. At least I suspect Sirius will defend me if that happens. But I'd rather avoid it altogether if I can.

"Come on!" I grab his hand and pull him out of the dormitory. 

As I sneak into the common room, checking carefully that there isn't some lost student left, Sirius' hands find their way to my hips again.

"Stop touching me!" I hiss at him, slapping away the wandering hands.

"But I want to feel you," He whines like I'm somehow inhuman for denying him access to my body.

"What about what I want?"

"What do you want?" He stares at me with big eyes filled with expectations. Does he think the answer is 'Sirius Black'?

"I want to sleep," I sigh.

"I don't mind watching you sleep," He nods enthusiastically before going up the stairs again.

"Wait," I quickly pull him back, thinking on how I could possibly get it through his thick skull that I don't want him in my bed. "If you're there, I won't be able to sleep. You're very... distracting and I really need my sleep, Sirius."

Even though he still looks very reluctant to go anywhere I'm not going, he seems to agree with me that he is in fact very distracting.

"Okay," He pouts. "I'll see you tomorrow morning, then?"

"Definitely," I smile, steering him towards the common room exit when a question suddenly hits me. "Euhm, Sirius? How did you even get in my dorm?"

First of all there's the question on how he found the entrance to the Ravenclaw Tower but that's not the well-guarded secret we pretend it is. I'm sure some girl in our House must have told him once if he turned on the charm. Unlike other Houses, our password isn't something you have to remember. It's a thought-out question you need to answer, meaning you can't get locked out if you have a terrible memory but someone else with brains could probably gain access as well and even though I've often compared Sirius' brain to that of a garden gnome, I know he's pretty intelligent. More of an evil genius than a wise oracle but smart nonetheless. What I don't understand is how he got from the common room to my dorm. The staircase has been spelled to turn into a slide when a boy tries to go up so how did he manage? 

"I used the stairs," He smiles.

"It turns into a slide," I frown because I'm sure a Marauder, if not all of them, must have tried to get to the girls dormitories once before so he must be aware of it. I'm sure it works the same in the Gryffindor tower.

"I found a loophole," Sirius smirks.

"Which is?"

"It doesn't work with animals."

"Oh," I nod, even though I'm not really following. "So you... I mean, it... how exactly is that a loophole?"

"I'll show you," He smiles.

I continue to watch him as I expect him to pull out some magical device that helped him pull it off, even though I have no idea where he would have hidden it the entire time since his night-time attire doesn't really have any pockets. But as I keep my eyes fixated on him I notice his features seem to be changing. I want to blame it on the clear lack of sleep I'm suffering from right now but then his skin changes into fur and he drops down on his four paws. Yeah, that's right, he has paws!

"Holy fucking crap!" I gasp as I watch the giant black furry dog sitting where a couple of seconds ago Sirius Black was standing. 

He doesn't give me much time to process that he can change into a dog - a dog! - before turning human again. 

"I'm an animagus," He announces proudly as though he simply nailed a hard test. 

"You're an animagus," I repeat in a daze.

Sirius Black managed to get to my dorm without the stairs turning into a slide because in his animagus form the castle didn't count him as a boy. But that's nowhere near the biggest shock of this explanation. Sirius is an animagus, which last time I checked you have to register with the Ministry and you can only become one when you're off age. Since Sirius hasn't graduated yet that makes him an illegal animagus which is definitely something he should get scolded for and I totally would if I wasn't just so damn impressed with him pulling something off most adults never manage their entire lives. 

"Yep, since fifth year," He beams.

Shit, now I'm even more in awe. 

"Why are you telling me this?" I frown at him.

"I keep no secrets from you," He tells me so earnestly that it's hard not to immediately believe him.

Even though that's the second time he's said so, both of those times were under the influence of Amortentia. The real Sirius would rather hex himself in the foot before revealing any of his secrets to me. And this is yet again another secret he's spilled to me without any remorse. That might change in the morning though. 

"You're so going to hate yourself for this tomorrow," I sigh.

"I'm not," He vigorously shakes his head. "In fact, there's so much more I want to tell you, like how I-"

"Don't," I quickly shut him up before he tells me even more stuff I was never supposed to know. "No matter how interesting all you secrets are," Imagine all the things I could do with knowledge like that. "I think you've spilled enough of them for today. Let's keep something for tomorrow."

"Right," He nods in agreement." I can tell you about the Invisibility Cloak tomorrow."

"The invisi- what?" I gasp. "Never mind, I don't want to know."

I mean I kind of really do because where did he even get his hands on a cloak like that? But just like his affections, I want none of his secrets if he's not himself. Perhaps he might still be willing to share them once the love potion wears off? I'd love to hear them then.

"You should go," I grab his hand and drag him to the exit, ignoring how he squeezes my hand and smiles at me. "You don't want to get caught out of bed."

I don't really believe this is the first time Sirius has been roaming the hallways after hours but I don't want to be the one responsible for him getting into trouble, especially since we're already assured to receive a detention next time we run into Madam Pomfrey. 

The entrance opens up and I push him through, hesitating when I feel the coldness of the Hogwarts hallways. It's fucking freezing outside of the properly heated common room and I'm wearing warm, fluffy pyjama's. Sirius is seriously underdressed with his bare feet, my flimsy shirt and his boxers.

"Wait," I say when I realise I can't send him all the way to the Gryffindor common room like this. He'll freeze to death.

I point my wand at him again and it's a testimony on how effective Amortentia is because he doesn't even flinch when I cast a non-verbal charm on him. He seems perfectly content to let me wave my wand at him. That's profound trust I definitely didn't deserve but it's kind of nice anyway.

"It's a heating charm," I explain when he just keeps staring at me. "It only works for half an hour so you should really hurry back."

Meaning he can't take any pranking detours.

"You're so nice," He sighs once more.

I want to say that it's what anyone would do but then I realise any sane person would probably have kicked out their stalker by now. Is there a medical term for finding a guy that unwantingly follows you around and occasionally tries to force himself on you endearing? If so, I seem to be having a severe case of it.

"I don't want you to get cold," I shrug lamely.

Sirius beams at me once more and I'm struck with the fear that he might not look at me like that next time. I really like how he looked at me today, I'd kind of like for it to be a permanent thing .

Something in the way I'm looking at him right now must have given him confidence to do what he does next. Before my brain can even process that instead of leaving, Sirius is only getting closer, I find myself pressed against the wall of the entrance to the common room. One of his hands buries itself into my hair before his lips suddenly descend on mine. By the time I've figured out that Sirius Black is kissing me - and since I'm not even trying to push him away that means _we_ are kissing! - he already pulls back and smiles down at me.

"I'll see you tomorrow, Lena," He presses another quick kiss to my lips and then skips off into the hallway.

"Y-yeah," I stammer to the empty hallway. "T-tomorrow."

I absentmindedly bring my left hand to my lips that are still tingling from having another pair pressed against them. Even though it was such a brief kiss - I didn't even get the opportunity to push him away... or pull him closer - it definitely left an impact. My whole body is sizzling from that one second of contact. I can only imagine what a real kiss would feel like. I believe I've come to understand why so many girls throw themselves at him. 

I return to my bed in a daze, wondering if perhaps tomorrow I will get the opportunity to give that kiss a second try. Or maybe I'll return to my senses then and remember that I don't actually like Black, because that's who he will be then. He'll go back to the annoying, inconsiderate boy he's always been. It will be as if today never even happened.


	7. Reality Check

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you **Dragonfly** for your kind words and everyone else that liked this story and pressed the Kudos button :)

The following morning I follow my friends to the Great Hall for breakfast, trying to be all breezy about it when in fact I'm so nervous I'm close to pissing my pants. I don't know how it happened but somehow I've managed to care about Sirius Black's opinion of me in one day. Imagine what he could do if I gave him a whole week. I'll be putty in his hands. I don't like it one bit. 

"It will be fine," Mackenzie assures me when we get closer to the Great Hall and I must not be hiding it as well as I think I am. "He doesn't need a love potion to like you."

"How would you know?" I snap even though I feel guilty about that as soon as the words leave my mouth. "Sorry."

"I'm not wrong about this."

I wish I could be as confident as her. 

"Lena!"

Before I even get down the stairs, a happy ball of black hair jumps up and down in front of me, surprisingly eager for my presence. 

"Sirius," I say, wary of what kind of reaction I could expect from him. So far the smiling and shouting isn't that different from his behaviour yesterday.

"I'm so glad to see you! I couldn't sleep last night so I got up and wrote you a poem."

"A poem?" I frown. 

"Would you like to hear?" He smiles brightly at me. 

"I'm confused," I turn to April. "Shouldn't he have gone back to normal by now?"

"Exactly my question as well," James seems to pop out of nowhere with Remus and Peter standing behind him. "He's been hyper all night, keeping us up as well, asking for our input in 'the greatest poem ever for the greatest girl ever' and then when I gave it, he snapped at me."

I can totally see that happening. While Sirius on Amortentia seems to grasp every opportunity to talk about me, to other people as well, he also appears to be so jealous towards his best friend, his behaviour could only be described as hostile. The glare he's sending in James' direction right now makes it pretty clear that the potion hasn't worn off yet because Sirius Black would never look at his mate with such distain normally. 

"It might be exactly 24 hours," April shrugs. "Give it a few more minutes."

As if I wasn't nervous enough already! Now I have to actually stand here and wait for the cute guy in front of me to change back to the rude ass I've always known him to be.

"Would you like to hear?" Sirius repeats. 

"Oh, yes, she'd love to," Mackenzie grins and even though this is clearly just an opportunity for her to let him embarrass himself, he pulls out a piece of parchment and clears his throat. 

"Puffapods are pink, Devil's snare turns you blue,

I've never met a girl as beautiful as you,

I'd give you diamonds and pearls,

but you're already the most gorgeous of girls

You're what I think about all day,

every time you leave, I want you to -"

It's probably the worst poem I've ever heard - granted, I haven't read a lot of poems in my lifetime - but in its awkwardness, it's actually kind of sweet. And embarrassing as it might be, that doesn't mean I want him to stop mid-sentence. Sirius stopped reading and is instead staring at his piece of parchment, furrowed brow and confusion in his eyes. 

"Sirius?" I ask with concern. 

As soon as I ask, his eyes snap up to mine. Having gotten kind of used to him staring at me as though I'm the brightest star in the galaxy, leaves me unprepared for his eyes narrowing at mine as though I've just told him something rotten. Gone is the confusion and instead I only see anger and unbridled rage in his eyes. 

"Sirius?" I ask again, terrified of what that look in his eyes could mean. 

"You!" He hisses venomously at me and I can't help think how much he's resembling his younger brother right now. 

"Me?" I frown. 

"Conniving little cunt!"

What?!

"Hey, Padfoot, that's not-" But Remus doesn't get to finish with what I think would have been my defence. How come I need one anyway?

"How pathetic are you?" He growls, approaching me so menacingly I automatically take a step back even though I've never backed down from the bloke before. I've never seen him this terrifyingly furious either. 

"Excuse me?" I gasp but it comes out all squeaky and frightened. 

"You were that desperate for a Valentine Date, you had to rely on something as sorry as a love potion? You have to drug a guy to get one to hang out with you?"

"I didn't-"

"You are by far the saddest thing I've ever seen, Pelt, throwing yourself at me like some washed-up whore. Didn't I tell you I don't do sloppy seconds?"

I want to get angry, he deserves it, he deserves a kick in the nuts for every word that just left his mouth, but I can't manage to yell at him. His words don't enrage me, they hurt me. Not because they're true - I didn't slip him that potion! - but because they're in such stark contrast to all the nice things he's said to me these past 24 hours, harshly reminding me that none of that was real. And that the guy I'd come to care for deeply, doesn't even exist. Instead there's only this awful person who's not my Sirius. 

Our friends seem to be as struck by his outburst as I am, even James looks at his best friend like he's suddenly grown a second head. 

"Good," I eventually say, sounding much more shaken up than I want him to be aware of. "I see you've gone back to your normal, asshole ways."

I should totally come up with the worst insult I could possibly imagine but I don't have the energy for it. I just want to get out. Without sparing Sirius another glance, I turn around and enter the Great Hall. Sitting at breakfast with all my fellow students is the last thing I want to do right now but I don't want to give Sirius the satisfaction of knowing just how much he rattled me. 

About a minute later my friends join me and though none of them say anything, the looks on their faces are pure pity. Great, I clearly didn’t convince them that I didn’t start liking Sirius any more than I did myself. Because I did kind of like him. The forced date that was really just babysitting in disguise is the best date I’ve ever gone on. I’m sure that says something negative about my dating record but maybe there is something there. Something we chose to turn into petty arguments and vicious insults but now that I’ve seen the potential of what we could have had between us, it’s hurtful to go back to the way it was. 

“Lena?” April gently tries to throw a comforting arm around my shoulder but I quickly shrug it off.

A hug does sound kind of nice right now but I’m well aware that somewhere in the Great Hall are the Marauders – I’m guessing the area from where I feel several gazes on my back – and I don’t want them to see I need comforting. I still have enough pride to prevent that.

“Don’t,” I mutter softly. “I’m fine.”

Though I can’t see April’s expression as I can’t turn to her without seeing the Gryffindor table from the corner of my eye, I’m sure hers is similar to the worried ones Nora and Mackenzie in front of me are wearing. You’d think I just got dumped by my boyfriend or something the way they stare at me like I’m some fragile little thing. Sirius was not my boyfriend, he was my stalker! And I’m glad to be rid of him. Things can finally go back to the way they’re supposed to be. 

“I can’t believe he said that,” Mackenzie sighs, carefully trying out if it’s already up for discussion. 

“I can,” April seems to direct her anger to her now, judging by her harsh tone and the surprise on my other friend’s face. “I knew something like this would happen. Why do you think I was trying to be cautious? And why did you make her believe Sirius Black actually has feelings, for her and in general!?”

“How is this my fault?” Mackenzie gasps. 

“’That makes total sense’,” April does a lousy impression of her. “Clearly it didn’t! Black has never been anything other than downright mean to her.”

“That’s… not really true,” Nora adds hesitantly. 

Mackenzie probably doesn’t want to admit that she was dead wrong on this and that’s why she might still defend her opinion. But Nora has no such reason to do the same. 

“Why do you say that?” I frown at her. 

“Don’t get me wrong,” She quickly says. “I’m having a hard time believing he’s in love with you, especially after everything he just said to you. But Sirius Black hasn’t always been mean to you.”

“Yes!” Mackenzie eagerly jumps on the opportunity to still get her point across. “There was that time where… and the… than… you know, boys tease the girls they like.”

It’s a lame argument and I think she knows it because soon after she heaves a sigh and slumps in her seat, defeated. Nora doesn’t give up that easily though. 

“Remember in fourth year when those guys were picking on you? Sirius came to your defence then.”

“He told everyone she was the female wrestling champion!” April huffs. “She’s been in every guy’s friend zone since then.”

“Tough girls still come up to me and ask me to wrestle them,” I whine. 

One of the girls even went as far as not asking and just attacking me on my way to class. That was a couple months ago and the rumour seems to have finally died out after that. Not sure it was worth the broken clavicle though. 

“Or when you and James broke up? Sirius left you alone for an entire month.”

“Because he was busy spreading the rumour Lena had given him an STD!”

“That time he got you out of a detention?”

“He had been planning to throw a party in the empty classroom she would have had to clean cauldrons in.”

April is making really good arguments here. Every time it seems Sirius was decent enough to somehow lend me a hand, there was actually something in it for him. Most of the times that was his amusement at my expense. Except for one.

At the end of fifth year I had asked out John Kestler, a Ravenclaw in our year I was pretty close with and had had a crush on for months. I had finally picked up the courage to tell him how I felt and he basically laughed in my face. He immediately apologised for it but said dating me would be like going out with his sister. I was one of the guys, not someone to date. He fucking crushed me. I had been distraught and chose the owlery to cry my heart out. In hindsight, that was not the best idea since a lot of people go up there to send off letters but my tears couldn’t be controlled and that was the nearest place I could think off. 

Mid-breakdown I heard voices approaching the owlery and since there was nowhere to run, I was forced to resign to the fact that people were going to see my cry. My terror only grew when the first person walked into the owlery and locked eyes with my pathetic crying form. I cursed my terrible luck that of course it had to be Sirius Black, presenting him with an opportunity to embarrass me even more. But to my astonishment he didn’t look at me with glee then. Instead he looked at me with what I couldn’t recognise as sympathy back then. After all, he had never looked at me that way before. Rather than ridiculing me like I was so certain he would, he turns around and comes up with some excuse for him and his friends to skip their planned visit to the owlery. 

Of course, he might still have done that, not to protect me, but because he didn’t want his friends to waste any time on asking me what was wrong. How would I know? I don’t know the guy at all. 

“It doesn’t matter,” I eventually shake my head at me friends.

“What?”

“It doesn’t matter if Black likes me, or liked me, or doesn’t hate me, or any of that. It doesn’t change the way that I feel.”

“How do you feel?” April asks carefully, slightly afraid of what my answer could be.

“I feel that anyone who speaks to me the way he just did, does not deserve a second of my time or thoughts or concern. Black is insignificant to me.”

“Lena…?” Mackenzie starts but I’m so done with listening to her defend the guy.

“I have an essay for Transfiguration to finish,” I tell them as I get up from the bench. “I’ll be at the Library.”

I can tell they weren’t ready for this conversation to be over, but I am and none of them try to stop me as I walk away. I ignore the desire to glance over at the Gryffindor table, crushing the hope that maybe Black will look slightly guilty if I glance his way. Like I said, he doesn’t matter. And I’ll work really hard in trying to convince myself of that.


	8. First Chances

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Wow, last chapter got more response than I expected. Thank you for that; **s., Dragonfly, Syd, violetsareblonde, Annie,** and **banichu**! Your praise was wonderful. As promised, this is the last chapter and I hope it's a satisfying end to the story.

Things haven’t exactly gone back to the way they were. Not that I’m complaining but Sirius Black ignoring my very presence instead of mocking me might actually hurt more than I want to accept. For all those years, I hoped for some miracle that would get the guy off my back but having him not acknowledge my presence in the room anymore might be even more insulting than any of his harsh comments ever could be. I know I should be happy about this but it actually makes me miss him. Not just the guy he had been during the weirdest 24 hours of my life but also the interactions that I suppose made my life a whole lot more interesting than it is now. 

It’s been a couple of days since the whole love potion revealed feelings I never even knew I could have but the rumours that me and Sirius Black are dating haven’t gone away. I suppose I can’t really blame people for not believing me when I tell them there’s nothing between us after they witnessed him declare his eternal love for me on top of the Gryffindor table in the Great Hall. But every time someone asks me about it – and the amount of times that happens is literally absurd – it just reminds me that there is in fact nothing there. For the briefest of moments, I thought there was but once Sirius turned back to normal, he quickly proved me wrong. 

In that aspect it might be a good thing that interactions between us have been reduced to zero because while he didn’t seem to have a problem with going back to hating and insulting me, I can’t. I should hate him for the way he talked to me as soon as the Amortentia wore off but every time I try, I remember something he said or did before that and realise that Sirius Black can’t be all bad. Clearly a part of it was due to the Love Potion but unfortunately not all was. There’s more to him than meets the eye, he just doesn’t want me to ever bear witness to it again. And that’s fine by me.

I’ll find a way to be fine with that. 

My friends have provided me with the necessary distractions because they know how I’m feeling much better than I do most of the time. Most of those new-found activities make total sense like Nora asking me to help her with her Herbology project, even Mackenzie asking me for wardrobe advice (even though it was really just me humming along to everything she proposed) but April’s suggestion really takes the cake.

“You want me to go watch Hector’s Quidditch practice,” I repeat. “Because…?”

“Because I can’t since I have a detention right now. I always watch his practice and he’s become rather superstitious that he needs a crowd to perform well. Therefore someone has to sit in the tribune to cheer him on. Since it can’t be me, I suggested you. He was very enthusiastic about the alternative.”

“Uhuh,” I nod. “So because Hector has some kind of exhibitionistic streak, I have to sacrifice my evening to sit in the stands, freezing my ass off, to tell him he’s doing a good job?”

“Sort of.”

“Tell me again why you can’t.”

“I told you, I have detention.”

“For what?”

“Well, I didn’t want to tell you because it might… make you uncomfortable,” She winces. “But Black told on Polly about the Love Potion and when confronted, she totally told on me. Even though I had already paid back her money and all. So apparently brewing a potion for a fellow student to force another student to fall in love with them is reason enough for a couple of detentions.”

“Right,” I nod.

I totally warned her about this, for the record. What didn’t come with a warning was how I was going to find myself inexplicably enjoying myself on that crazy rollercoaster. If I had known at the start what was going to happen, I would have sabotaged her potion. 

“Will you please do it?” April pleads with me.

“So I just have to sit there during the team’s practice?” I sigh.

“And cheer,” She smiles.

“So just sit there?” I ask again.

“Good enough,” She shrugs.

And that is how I find myself on Thursday afternoon joining my cousin on his trek to the Quidditch field for the Ravenclaw’s team practice. 

“I can’t believe I agreed to this,” I whine again to Hector.

“Me neither,” He smiles. “But she can be very persuasive, right?”

That’s one way to describe his girlfriend and my best friend. The word I would have chosen has a bit of a negative aftertaste. 

“This would not be necessary if you could perform without an audience,” I smirk.

He must be sensing the dirty joke I’m leading up to because he’s quick to change the course of this conversation.

“This all wouldn’t have happened if you stopped her when she brewed that Love Potion.”

So April told Hector and he was surprisingly cool about it. Wasn’t even really that mad at her. No, he decided to direct his annoyance at someone else and for some inexplicable reason, he picked me. I don’t see how I’m somehow at fault for the whole debacle but apparently in Hector’s head it makes sense. 

“She shouldn’t have been brewing it in the first place,” I huff. “And you know better than anyone there is no changing her mind. It’s better to just go along with it. Trust me, I wish I didn’t.”

When we finally make it to the pitch, I see there are little dots on the field in colours that don’t belong to our House. Looks like Gryffindor only just finished their practice. 

“I have to go get changed,” Hector nods in the direction of the changing rooms. “I’ll be back soon. You can already go sit up in the stands.”

That’s exactly what I have every intention of doing when a red-golden figure in the distance seems to find it necessary to approach me after niceties have been exchanged with the Ravenclaw Captain. I don’t think I’m in the mood to chat with James right now but he clearly seems to have a different opinion about it.

“Lena,” He smiles cautiously. “Hi.”

Why is everyone always looking at me like I’m some wounded little bird? It’s bad enough when my friends do it, I definitely don’t want it from him.

“Hey, James,” I smile back nicely because I’m kind like that. 

That doesn’t mean I haven’t forgotten that during the last conversation we had, he accused me of poisoning his best friend. 

“How have you-“

“How was practice?” I quickly ask him before he can ask me the question that usually accompanies the pitiful look. 

“Good,” He nods. “I think we’re ready for the next match.”

“But Ravenclaw’s up against Hufflepuff before the Gryffindor-Slytherin match,” I frown. 

“True, but you can never be too prepared.” I’m sure his knackered team might disagree with that statement. “But I actually wanted to talk to you about –“

“I’ve come to cheer on the Ravenclaw team today, though I would have tried harder to get out of it if I knew it was going to be this cold outside.”

“Yeah, it’s cold,” He frowns. “But Lena, I wanted to –“

“Seriously, do you have any idea the temperature it is right now? Because I told Hector that I’m leaving as soon as we’re below zero.”

“Lena!”

“What?”

“I’m trying to apologise here.”

“You are?” I frown. If I had known that’s what was going to leave his mouth, I wouldn’t have continued interrupting him. “What for?”

I know I deserve a lot of apologies, from several Marauders, for very different reasons but I didn’t think I’d ever see the day where I actually get to hear one. 

“I’m sorry I accused you of deliberately dousing Sirius with that Love Potion. In hindsight, the accusation was a bit preposterous.”

Actually, from my point of hindsight, it’s not. 

“And even more so,” He continues. “I’m sorry if I made you feel that I don’t miss our friendship.”

“Really?” I frown.

“Yeah,” He nods. “We were friends before I asked you out and instead of trying to salvage that, I made you feel unwelcome in my presence, and Lily’s, and Sirius’.”

James had been perfectly cordial and kind to me during and after the break-up. Even had the decency to let me know personally that he and Lily Evans had gotten together. I definitely got an apology during the break-up, telling me he never meant to hurt me in any way. What I never got, was the apology after. 

Before me and James agreed to give dating a chance, we had been friends. Maybe not great friends but we had hung out enough during detention and classes to classify ourselves as one step above acquaintances. When he asked me out, I figured ‘why not?’. He’s funny, charming and easy on the eyes. If it would turn out we’re better off as friends, no harm done. Except that we never really did go back to being friends. He started acting so awkward around me and every conversation after that seemed forced. And I can’t deny that being shoved aside like that hadn’t hurt my self-esteem. I had tried to sort of rekindle that friendship this year but his new girlfriend seemed to be very much against it, not to mention the fact that he didn’t seem to be very excited to try either. 

“Thanks,” I nod politely. “You don’t really want to be my friend though.”

“I do,” He frowns.

“If you wanted that, you would talk to me when you run into me, you would tell your girlfriend she shouldn’t get so damn possessive when you’re trying to have a conversation with your friend, and you would defend me when your best mate calls me a washed-up whore.”

That had stung. Not as much as Sirius Black actually saying those words to me, and mean it, but the fact that his friends all just stood there and let it happen. There were some feeble attempts but no one actually reprimanded him for talking to me like that, or talking to anyone like that. I definitely didn’t deserve it, I don’t even think Polly would have. 

“I’m really sorry about that,” He winces. “He feels pretty bad about it.”

He feels bad about it? 

“Oh, yeah, he looked so apologetic afterwards,” I roll my eyes.

He wouldn’t even look at me. It’s not like I have been trying to catch his eye the past couple of days but I definitely noticed that. 

“The potion really messed with his head, Lena,” James shakes his head sombrely. “He’s confused.”

“He and me both,” I mutter.

I am so lost on how I’m supposed to feel. I figured that as soon as Sirius Black would prove to me that none of it was real and he’s still the ass I’ve always known him to be, I’d be over my momentarily laps of sanity and that’d be that. While he totally proved to be an ass, I’m pretty sure I still haven’t regained my senses. Because I find myself missing him, and wanting to talk to him, and actually spill secrets of my own to him. Clearly, the potion messed with my head too.

“If you would just talk to him.”

“Are you kidding me?” I gape at him. 

“He only wants t-“

“Why aren’t you in the stands?” Hector asks me, confusion etched onto his face as he comes to join me and James. “Captain’s waiting for you guys to clear the field to kick off practice.”

“I’m sorry, we were just… talking Quidditch.”

It’s a very believable lie. Me and James did originally bond over the sport. 

“I was telling her my team’s drilled every strategy into their heads for the upcoming match,” He nods along. 

“And I told him he needs to synch up his beaters.” Because that’s totally what I would tell him if we had this imaginary conversation.

“For someone who knows so much about the game and strategy, you really should be on the team,” Hector muses. 

“Yeah,” James suddenly grins. “Is there a reason you aren’t?”

“Indeed,” Hector catches on. “Why did you never try-out?”

“You both know I can’t fly for shit,” I huff annoyed.

I love the game but I have the balance of a Puffapod. I can’t stay on a broom long enough to steer it in any direction other than straight into the ground. Quidditch is meant to be admired from afar in my case. 

“Anyway, we really ought to get cracking,” Hector glances towards the impatient team Captain over his shoulder. “Please just get to the stands, Lena.”

“I’m going, I’m going,” I hoist up my bag, drawing my cousin’s attention to it.

“You brought parchment?” He frowns. “I had no idea you were this serious about it. I can’t believe you’re going to take notes on how awesome I am.”

“I am not,” I snort. “Since I have to be here anyway, I figured I might as well look over my draft for my Charms essay.”

“You’re making homework when you’re supposed to cheer me on?” Hector gasps. 

“We have very different opinions as to why I’m here. The only cheering I’ll be doing is mutter ‘go, Ravenclaw’ under my breath once an hour,” I shrug before heading over towards the stands.

“My new fan club sucks!” He shouts after me.

“Another comment like that and this fan club is going on strike,” I flip him off. 

I partially worry that James still wants to finish that conversation but as I take a seat in the stands, I watch the red-golden dot move back towards the castle. Good, at least we’re done with that talk. Doesn’t mean I won’t still think about it though.

While I planned on reading over my first attempt of explaining what exactly a Water-Making-Spell is and somehow filling 12 inches with that subject, while occasionally glancing at how Hector’s doing, I’m really just thinking about what James said. That Sirius is confused and messed up too. Could it be that he thinks about what happened between us as well, wondering how much of that could have been something lasting?

We’re nearly forty minutes into the practice, I’ve muttered ‘Go, Ravenclaw’ once under my breath, when I decide I can’t focus on this essay anyway and might as well watch the Ravenclaw team practice, since that is originally what I had come here to do.

“Hey.”

Having been completely absorbed in my draft and Hector’s slightly impressive manoeuvres, I did not hear someone else join me on the stands. I didn’t even see him reach the field. But I definitely recognise that voice. One doesn’t simply interact with a bloke for years and not know what Sirius Black sounds like. I recognise it even more vividly now I know what the husky quality of his voice can do to my insides. 

“What are you doing here?” I sigh annoyed, pretending I’m too busy staring at the team’s practice to look at him. 

Despite my insistence to not look at him, he doesn’t go away. Instead, he takes a seat on the bench in front of me, turning around to attempt eye contact with me.

“James told me I could find you here,” He says. “I’ve been meaning to talk to you.”

“I really don’t have anything I want to discuss with you,” I shrug in an effort to appear uncaring, cussing out James in my head for sending his mate on me.

“You can’t think of anything we should talk about?” He sounds sarcastic. 

“I just assumed you don’t do conversations with conniving little cunts,” I sound very bitter but I assume it only helps with my case as I can see him flinch at those words. 

Good. I hope he feels bad about them. I hope he couldn’t sleep because of them. I know I didn’t. 

“I am so sorry.”

I can only refuse looking at him for so long and at those very surprising words, I just have to look him in the eye. He does look kind of apologetic. In fact, he looks kind of miserable.

“What?” I gape at him, convinced I must have heard wrong.

Sirius Black doesn’t do apologies, like most Marauders do. To receive an apology from two Marauders in one hour is unheard of. I might have misunderstood. 

“I’m sorry,” He repeats, ridding me of the delusional that I simply misheard. “I never should have said any of that. When you’re not insulting me back, I know I’ve crossed a line.”

He didn’t just cross the line, he ran it over. Twice. 

And now he’s taking it back? Can he do that?

“Lena?” He frowns at me as no response comes.

“I’m just in shock that word is actually in your vocabulary.”

“I guess I deserve that,” He nods, though the comment does seem to anger him. 

“You deserve a hell of a lot more,” I snap at the bloke. 

I should just hex him or walk away. But Sirius Black actually came looking for me, to apologise. I recognise that for the rare moment it is and perhaps I might actually be willing to hear him out. Fuck, I’m supposed to hate the guy. Why does he make that so hard!?

“Look, I know I was way out of line,” He sighs. “But you have no idea how disorienting it is to be at breakfast one moment and be 24 hours later the next, having all these memories rushing back to you. I remembered the Love Potion and being crazy obsessed with you so I drew the logical but wrong conclusion. It made sense in that moment, not so much after remembering everything else. I was wrong. I’m sorry.”

I’ve never been doused with a love potion myself so I have no idea what it feels like to come back out of a stupor like that. I still don’t think that justifies the things he said to me but for once in his life it doesn’t feel like Sirius is just making up excuses. He’s trying to get me to understand that he made a mistake, and he’s actually apologising for it. Who knew he was capable of that?

“I… appreciate you coming to apologise to me,” I eventually say. “I don’t know if I forgive you quite yet, but thank you. If that’s all?”

He did the proper thing, that I slightly suspect his friends of pushing him towards. There will be no harsh feelings between us. At least none that I’ll notify him off. I’ll lick my wounds in private, the way I always have. We can go back to the ‘normal’ way between us, knowing he’s capable of apologising for his mistakes. I’d call that progress. 

“Actually,” He doesn’t seem to be discouraged enough to leave. Instead he gets up and takes a seat next to me on the bench. “I also wanted to ask you something.”

“What’s that?”

“I want to ask you for a chance,” He looks intensely into my eyes when he says that. “I’d call it a second chance but I’m pretty sure I never got a first.”

“A chance for what?” I frown. 

“To prove to you that I can be dating material.”

“W-what?” I sputter. 

“I know it sounds crazy,” He sighs. “A week ago I would have declared myself bonkers for just suggesting it. But as I remembered everything that happened between us during those 24 hours, I noticed something that could be. And it could be just potential for a disaster, or it could be the best thing that ever happens to us. What I’m asking from you is to take the chance to find out which of the two options it will be.”

I know I’m probably staring at him with bulging eyes and utter terror written across my face but it doesn’t seem to convince him to take back everything he just said to me. He’s just sitting there, looking kind of nervous, waiting for some kind of reply. But I have no idea what to say to that.

“You want-“ I start. “You want to go on a date with me?”

“Well, technically, we already went on one. And while, as far as I can remember it correctly, it was pretty good, I’d like to go on one where I can actually control my impulses.”

Control his impulses, he said, not be himself. Is it possible that the Sirius I spend a great day with, was mostly the real Sirius? That sounds too good to be true. 

“I’m not so sure if that’s a good idea,” I say carefully. After all, I know how scary an angry Sirius can be and I also how easy it is to anger him.

“Why?” He simply asks. 

Why? Why he asks. 

“Because… you hate me?”

“I think we’ve already come to the conclusion that I don’t hate you,” He smiles softly. “I don’t think you hate me either.”

Right, we did already establish that. But not hating each other doesn’t really seem like a good reason to go on a date. Nonetheless, Sirius is still staring at me, daring me to come up with another argument he can shoot down. 

“We fight all the time.”

“Not all the time,” He says. “We got a glimpse of what it could be like when we’re not. So I promise not to rile you up if you promise not to rile me up.”

“You do know how to get to me,” I frown because there’s definitely no one that gets my blood boiling the way he can. “You know how to push my buttons.”

“Likewise,” He nods. “But maybe that doesn’t have to be a bad thing.“

And there’s definitely never been anyone that’s got my blood pumping the way he does. And maybe that is indeed not such a bad thing. 

“You called me a whore,” I throw in my final argument, somehow he’s managed to weaken all the other ones. 

“Yes,” He nods solemnly. “I shouldn’t have. That’s was mean.”

“And untrue,” I frown.

“And untrue,” He quickly repeats. “But in my defence, I only did it once. You’ve called me man-whore repeatedly, you don’t see me holding any grudges.”

“That’s because you like that reputation,” I snort. “And that was before I found out how lily-white you truly are.”

At my teasing, he winces like the words somehow burned him. I’m pretty sure they just embarrassed him. 

“I was hoping I didn’t remember everything correctly,” He sighs. “But that conversation did happen, right?”

“Oh, yeah,” I smirk, pleased at his discomfort. “You told me a lot of things.”

“That’s what I was afraid of,” He closes his eyes. “The Map?”

“Yep.”

“The Invisibility Cloak?”

“Uhuh.”

“My Animagus form?” 

“Definitely.”

“The kiss?”

“Ye- wait!! That doesn’t count! You forced your tongue down my throat, giving me no time to react. But I pushed you away, ask anyone in the Great Hall.”

I did not kiss him back. Anyone can testify to that. They all saw how appalled I was that morning. 

“Not that one,” He smiles mischievously. “The one in front of your common room.” 

Oh, crap. I didn’t think Sirius would have noticed how I didn’t push him away and perhaps the lovesick version of him didn’t. But the sane one most certainly did. 

“That’s not-“ I gasp helplessly. “I didn’t- You! And the… You told me you’d been in love with me for two years!”

Great, instead of shrugging off his accusation, I address the elephant in the room. The thing I’m not sure I want to hear was just gibberish out of a poisoned mouth.

“Yeah,” Sirius grimaces uncomfortably. “Turns out I like to exaggerate under Amortentia.”

“Oh,” I can’t help but let out as he tells me it wasn’t true. Not that I wanted him to have pined for me for such a long period of time but to think that he had liked me before the Love Potion dousing made me confident that this was something real. 

“Don’t get me wrong,” He quickly says when he realises those words disappointed me. “I’ve always had a thing for you, which might have gotten worse about two years ago but I never thought about pursuing it.”

“Because you’re not dating material?” I frown, remembering what he had said to me the first time I asked him why he never told me. 

“Since that’s actually the opposite of what I’m trying to convince you of, I guess I should just honestly tell you that I didn’t want to get rejected. I didn’t think you’d be open to it.”

So just like Mackenzie, he just assumed I wouldn’t have taken him seriously. He wouldn’t have been wrong. 

“Are you?” He asks.

“Huh?”

“Open to it?” He looks me cautiously in the eye, as though he’s just given me the opportunity to get payback and call him pathetic as well. 

“This is crazy,” I whisper. 

“That is how I started my proposition,” He smiles. “One you still haven’t given me an answer to.”

This is insane. Out of the two possible outcomes Sirius predicted for us, I think the most likely one is that we will drive each other crazy until eventually one of us kills the other. But even if it’s just a 10% chance, am I really willing to deny this if it could make me the happiest I’ve ever been? Because during those 24 hours, when I was not being harassed and stalked, he did kind of make me happy. Of course it will be hard because there are some serious issues we would have to work through. I’d also have to figure out just how much of lovesick Sirius is left in the real one, just as he might have to figure out if I’m really how he remembers me. But won’t it be worth it?

“Okay,” I eventually nod.

“Okay?” He looks at me in shock, like that’s the last answer in the world he expected. 

“I guess I’m taking that chance with you,” I smile softly at him.

Slowly a smile spreads over his face until he’s staring at me goofily, beaming like I just made him the happiest guy alive. Huh, at least that look didn’t go anywhere. I reach out and caress his cheek, trying to memorise the way he looks at me, like I didn’t dare do before. Maybe I do know the real Sirius after all. 

I lean further towards him, secretly seeing if he’s about to push me away and tell me this was all a super elaborate ploy to embarrass me. But he doesn’t. Instead he meets me halfway. 

If I though the kiss I didn’t fully participate in was good, this one is mind-blowing. He curls one hand around my waist to pull me tight against his body, which feels really nice up close. The other goes to my face where he leaves feather-light touches against my cheek. Before I can lose myself in his hot mouth upon mine, I pull away slightly, just enough to leave an inch of space between our lips. 

“You still have a lot to make up for,” I gasp.

Years of insults and embarrassments don’t just disappear with one kiss, even if it’s one as bloody good as this one. 

“I’m working on it,” He flashes me a grin before pulling my mouth to his again.

If he continues down this path of repentance, we’ll be just fine.


End file.
